We aren’t even sure if we want to broach this topic. It’s too painful to even think about, never mind write about. We are more than happy to continue lying to ourselves, closing our eyes each time the sub-zero balance appears on the ATM by pretending that we needed a very long blink, and remain in our safe place, surrounded by the fanciful walls of of a cushioned piggy bank that is incessantly overflowing. But we have to learn to deal with the consequences of numerous pub trips, Christmas meals and presents bought for yourself. The January Skint-Slump is upon us. And here’s how to survive.
2. Take out a loan. Yes, another one.
3. Take up DIY.
4. Ask for donations to the Skint-Slump Fund for any cups of tea made. Just maybe not at the office.
5. Hibernate throughout January and half of February. If it works for skunks, it can work for us.
6. Make your own traditions. No more Valentines/Birthdays/next Christmas.
7. Commute from Spain. It’s apparently cheaper.
8. Migrate to a planet that uses sarcasm for currency.
9. Stick your tongue out when it rains to save you buying bottled water (or drink from the tap…)
10. Rollerblade/hop scotch everywhere.
11. Street perform – you know that thing you can do with your eyebrows is a talent for a reason.
12. Borrow other people’s lunches at work.
13. Double up your colander as a hat (but make sure to cover it with a plastic bag if raining).
14. Double up socks as gloves.
15. Double up curtains as clothes. You’ll never shop again.
16. Campaign for a ‘mummy and daddy’ governmental programme where civilians receive pocket money during the months of January and February.
17. Live forever in denial.
Featured Image Credit: Neil Andrews, Instagram: @mumhad1ofthose