It doesn’t matter if you’ve lived in London for six months or six years, there are some things that’ll happen to you sooner or later.
They might be certain habits you’ve developed after learning harsh lessons (like, never press the button on a Tube door), or things that happen completely automatically after a while. Either way, here are 23 things that you simply need to have experienced to be able to call yourself a true Londoner.
1. You’ve never EVER approached the Tube gate without having your Oyster/bank card ready
…and forced yourself to smile patiently (but crucially not politely) at the person holding you up. It’s the true London way.
2. Perfected the art of walking faster than everyone around you
Slow walking is a surefire way to be identified as a non-local. HURRY HURRY HURRY THERE IS NO TIME. YOU MUST SPEED UP OR YOU WILL BE CAUGHT BY THE FAST WALKERS AND HUFFED AT IN A REALLY PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE BUT ALSO SLIGHTLY AGGRESSIVE AGGRESSIVE WAY.
3. Fallen asleep on the night tube/bus and woken up at the last stop
Some say you’re not a true Londoner if this hasn’t happened to you at least once. Or twice. Or eight times.
4. Never dared to stand on the left side of an escalator
…because you’re not trying to get in a fight. ARE YOU?! No.
5. Found your way through Bank station without taking a wrong turn
Okay… fine. This one is nearly impossible, but if you’ve managed to master this situation, props to you. You’re officially a TRUE Londoner.
6. Know which is the best bagel shop/curry house on Brick Lane
Oh, we love a bit of late night dining at the London beigel stop-off, don’t we?
7. Considered £7 to be a ‘cheap pint’
Now that’s a bargain! We’re truly broken, aren’t we?
8. Snapped a picture in front of the infamous pink staircase at Frank’s Café
Just one more.
9. Wondered why you put up with the ridiculous rent market, only to remember you’re living in the world’s best city
This questionable Kensington flat would have set you back £175,000, but honestly, would you take it if it meant staying in London? Probably not, but you might at least consider it… best! city! ever!
10. Haggled your way to a bargain at Portobello Market/Columbia Road Flower Market
Just call me the ‘closer’. Chief negotiator of any deal.
11. Gone from a bottomless brunch to the beer garden to a night out, all without breaking a sweat
12. Can recommend the best restaurant in Chinatown
There is a correct answer here.
13. Never incorrectly pronounced ‘Marylebone‘, ‘Southwark’, or ‘Ruislip’
Come on, it’s not that difficult.
14. Stood on the Tube so that you’re right opposite the exit when the doors open
Just makes all the sense! True Londoners know any and every time-saving technique.
15. And tried to estimate exactly where the door will be while waiting on the platform
A power move, if there ever was such a thing in the London Underground.
16. Have ridden a Santander bike home because you won’t pay for an Uber
Rent and food are expensive enough. Bike hire is the way forward.
17. Met outside ‘the big Topshop‘
RIP to the best meetup spot :(. But now it’s an IKEA!
18. Walked up the middle section of Oxford Street to avoid the crowds
While thinking to yourself, ‘Gosh, I hate people’…
19. Have a favourite IKEA
Even the Secret London team can’t come to a unanimous decision here (Alex thinks it’s Greenwich, while Jack prefers Wembley).
20. Shed tears over the loss of a cherished shop/restaurant/place and sworn never to set foot in the replacement
Only to break your promise once you discover what the new cool place has to offer.
21. Refused to go north/south of the river on the grounds that it practically requires a passport
Wave goodbye to your friends on the other side… we hardly knew ya.
22. Given tourists directions without even glancing at the Tube map/bus route
A truly proud moment. You are a true Londoner. This is it. Drink it in. Until you’re flummoxed by the next request.
23. And finally, smiled to yourself because you’re so darn lucky to live in London, and don’t ever want to leave
Best city? Best city.
