20 Things Londoners Say Vs. What They Actually Mean

share on:
jason hawkes

We Londoners (and perhaps Brits in general) have picked up an unruly habit of being unable to say what we really feel. We only have ourselves to blame that ‘sorry’ has lost all meaning. It will now forever be a passive-aggressive non-apologetic way of saying ‘yeah, you better stay the f*ck out of my way’…

Here are some of the other phrases we say and really don’t mean.

 

1. “Ooh, I might be free then…” = “I am free. But my sofa won’t be.”

2. “We need to go there.” = “We will probably never go there.”

3. “I tried this amazing new place the other day.” = “Look how fucking awesome I am at this ‘London’ thing.”

4. “I’m trying to save money.” = “I’m starving.”

5. “I’m trying to save money.” = “Just offer to buy me a drink already.”

6. “I’m trying to save money.” = “I will never ever have any money.”

poor
[Giphy]
7. “My rent’s not too bad, for such a great location!” = “I’m waiting for the day that everyone moves up North.”

8. “They say it’s up-and-coming.” = “It’s a shit hole at present.”

9. “Oooopsie, I must have forgotten to buzz out.” = “I got so many free tube rides. In YER FACE TfL.”

10. “I use my commute to read.” = “I’m on level 762 on Candy Crush.”

11. “Oh babe, do you want me to pop over?” = “Oh babe, do you expect me to trek half way across London to hear you cry about your mediocre Tinder date?”

fake smile
[Giphy]
12. “I’ll definitely get the Night Tube home.” = “Uber it is.”

13. “I’ll go on a run around Clapham Common.” = “I’ll walk up the escalators at Clapham Common tube station.”

14. “I’m going to pack lunch every day this week.” = “I hear Camden’s food market’s got some great new stalls…”

15. “I’m off the booze at the moment.” = “Alcohol is the only thing that will quench this thirst.”

16. “Thursdays are the new Friday.” = “I drink whenever I want, which is every night.”

17. “God, not another Starbucks. Curse gentrification!” = “I’ll have a Java Chip Frappucino® please.”

frap
[Giphy]
18. “My Friday got a bit messy” = “I can’t remember how I got home, woke up wearing only my tights, bra and a Havana Club Fedora hat I must have stolen.”

19. “My Friday got a bit messy” = “I dropped a bit of Ben & Jerry’s down my PJ top as I scoffed it in bed while watching Bridget Jones.”

20. “Sorry.” = “Mind your sweaty arse.”

 

Featured Image Credit: Jason Hawkes, @jasonhawkesphoto

Leave a Reply