Like black snot and daily travel rage, being broke comes with the job description of living in London. Yayyyy…
1. The last week until pay day is as long and painful as a tube journey with a colleague you don’t know very well.
2. And you’ll spend those last 7 days cursing yourself for having the sheer audacity to buy your lunch from Pret for the first two weeks.
3. Not to mention those unnecessary Ubers.
4. In fact, ever pound and penny you ever spent will flash before your eyes, and you’ll go to bed every night with phrases like “WHY £3 coffee-from-the-fancy-coffee-shop WHY – I didn’t need you!” ringing in your ears.
5. Things you would never, ever imagine doing, suddenly become totally acceptable.
6. Like walking three hours home.
7. Or sneaking into events with open bars. That you just happened to walk past. By yourself…
8. Trying to jazz up your Pot Noodle with an experimental concoction of all the in-date (a loose term) condiments in your fridge.
9. And feeling like an evil genius culinary mastermind.
10. That an empty fridge is almost as sorry a sight as an empty bottle of wine.
11. But that the feeling of gratitude, relief and excitement when there is free breakfast or lunch at work is unparalleled.
12. You will have seriously considered becoming a stripper/gigolo/tube tissue disperser…
13. There is no finite number the amount of times a tea bag be used.
14. And the days of daily showers are behind you.
15. Which usefully results in more space on public transport because no one wants to stand/sit next to you…
16. Having a house party and asking people to bring their own booze.
17. And toilet paper……
18. Stepping back into the 13th century and repairing your own socks.
19. But feeling like an absolute baller when it’s finally pay day again and you buy yourself, AND your mate, a £7 bottle of wine.
Featured Image Credit: ToTheDaysLikeThis