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13 Reasons Why Donald Trump Could Never Cut It In London

Georgie Hoole Georgie Hoole - EXECUTIVE EDITOR

13 Reasons Why Donald Trump Could Never Cut It In London

America has now totally Trumped us (geddit?) when it comes to political embarrassment. Brexit was bad enough, but now this guy is the president of the United States. As least we can be fairly sure that this wouldn’t have happened in the UK. Here’s why Donald could never hack it in London…

 

1. Trump means fart over here.
2. And us Brits are just too hilarious to let that slide…

 

3. Technically our equivalent to Trump is Alan Sugar, and he would make a far better president if you ask us.
4. But as he rightly says…

 

5. Could you imagine if Trump came over here and suggested building a wall around Wales?!
6. We suspect his Tinder bio would look something like this…

 

7. But he’d never get any action anyway because London has these…
pussy-protectors-donald-trump
[@PussyProtection]

 

8. There is no way he could get away with pretending that tan was real.
9. But to be honest, with that tango glow, we don’t think he’s fooling anyone…

 

10. The gusts of wind on the tube would make his toupée fall off.
donald-trump-toupee
[Flickr | Donkey Hotey]
11. And he’d be dubbed a hipster with a hat like that…
donald-trump-hat-america
[Flickr | Gage Skidmore]
12. We’d like to see him try and get a job in London…

 

13. …let alone become leader of the country.

Feature image: Flickr/Gage Skidmore