Maybe we should all just up and leave London because, frankly, it’s a downright terrible place. Yep, really really bad. Terrible city, nothing to do here. Just nothing appealing about it at all. For proof, just see the below reasons why London is the absolute worst.
1. There are no green spaces
Well, apart from a few, scattered spots. There’s just a couple, I guess. (Okay, there are absolutely loads — in fact, it has the highest number of public parks in Europe.)
2. It’s all just made of concrete
They don’t call it The Big Smoke for nothing. Grey, grey buildings as far as the eye can see. No green space what. so. ever.
3. And there is absolutely no nature anywhere
Seriously, when was the last time you heard the birds sing? It’s like the city is somehow completely devoid of wildlife. Richmond Park is just empty.
4. Just buildings
And old ones at that. Yawn. Who wants old buildings?
5. And they’re not even nice buildings
Can you believe they bothered to rebuild St Paul’s four times? What a waste.
6. Really, really ugly buildings
Ok, I guess this lot aren’t bad… But we won’t be swayed from our initial statement. London’s buildings are just YUCK. Yuck, yuckity, yuck (can’t even say it with a straight face)
7. Just look at them
8. They’re revolting
And just wait until you see the sewers… Just a stinker all around.
9. And Londoners never have any fun
The odd rooftop bar aside, this place is a ghost town. I mean there’s only, what, two of them anyway?
10. Like, there’s absolutely nothing to do here
Nope, absolutely nothing to do here.
11. And the food is absolutely terrible
Gordon Ramsay? Heston Blumenthal? Who are they? Never heard of them. Bet they can’t even cook a decent burger…
12. It’s always the same old sh*t
A full English breakfast in a tart? Liquid nitrogen ice cream? Bright green pickle-centric afternoon teas? Get some new material, London.
13. It’s impossible to get around
We’ve only got the world’s most historic underground railway, after all. Which is basically just another old relic of the past… Hooray!
14. And it’s always so hideous and rainy
Pretty joyless, too, with absolutely no pretty sights to see or impressive views. God, how bad does it look in the spring?
15. The city has zero character
There’s no art, or culture, or anything at all!
16. And the people are always so miserable
Seriously, does anyone even like anyone here?
17. Why would anyone want to come here?
But some people seem to have been here for quite a while…
Oh god we can’t even say it any more. Don’t hate us – we didn’t mean it, London. Honest! We absolutely love this city and will continue to champion it.
