Maybe we should all just up and leave because, frankly, it’s a downright terrible place. Yep, really really bad. Terrible city, nothing to do here.
1. There are no green spaces
Well, apart from a few, scattered spots.
2. It’s all just made of concrete
They don’t call it The Big Smoke for nothing.
3. And there is absolutely no nature anywhere
Seriously, when was the last time you heard the birds sing?
4. Just buildings
Yep, hundreds upon hundreds of historic spots. Yawn.
5. And not even nice buildings
Can you believe they bothered to rebuild St Paul’s four times? What a waste.
6. Really, really ugly buildings
Ok, I guess this lot aren’t bad…
7. Just look at them
8. They’re revolting
And just wait until you see the sewers…
9. Oh and Londoners never have any fun
The odd rooftop bar aside, this place is a ghost town.
10. Like, there’s absolutely nothing to do here
We honestly had to struggle just to think of a few.
11. And the food is absolutely terrible
Gordon Ramsay? Heston Blumenthal? Who?
12. It’s always the same old sh*t
Breakfast in bread? Liquid nitrogen ice cream? Get some new material, London.
13. It’s impossible to get around
We’ve only got the world’s most historic underground railway, after all.
14. And it’s always so hideous and rainy
15. The city has zero character
And everything you could do is way too expensive!
16. And the people are always so miserable
Sometimes, though, the city can make you smile.
17. Seriously, why would anyone want to come here?
Be warned though: once London has you, you’re not likely to leave…
Oh god we can’t even say it with a straight face. Don’t hate us – we didn’t mean it, London. Honest!
Also published on Medium.