Ugh. London. What a total dump.
Maybe we should all just up and leave because, frankly, it’s a downright terrible place.
1. There are no green spaces.
Well, apart from a few, scattered spots.
2. It’s all just made of concrete.
They don’t call it The Big Smoke for nothing.
3. And there is absolutely no nature anywhere.
Seriously, when was the last time you heard the birds sing?
4. Just buildings.
Yep, hundreds upon hundreds of historic spots. Yawn.
5. And not even nice buildings.
Can you believe they bothered to rebuild St Paul’s four times? What a waste.
6. Really, really ugly buildings.
Ok, I guess this lot aren’t bad…
7. Just look at them.
8. They’re revolting.
And just wait until you see the sewers…
9. Oh and Londoners never have any fun.
The odd rooftop bar aside, this place is a ghost town.
10. Like, there’s absolutely nothing to do here.
We honestly had to struggle just to think of a few.
11. And the food is absolutely terrible.
Gordon Ramsay? Heston Blumenthal? Who?
12. It’s always the same old sh*t.
Breakfast in bread? Liquid nitrogen ice cream? Get some new material, London.
13. It’s impossible to get around.
We’ve only got the world’s most historic underground railway, after all.
14. And it’s always so hideous and rainy.
15. The city has zero character.
And everything you could do is way too expensive!
16. And the people are always so miserable.
Sometimes, though, the city can make you smile.
17. Seriously, why would anyone want to come here?
Be warned though: once London has you, you’re not likely to leave…
Also published on Medium.