Living in London can be pretty tough as it is, but while it may seem that no season can appease us (summer is too hot, autumn too inconsistent, spring…well, we’ll think of something when we get to it), winter is hands down the hardest to deal with. Our relationship with winter is much like the one we have with the exes – you think of them fondly when they aren’t there, but the moment they come back into your life, you suddenly feel bitterly cold, a little sniffly and in need of a stiff hot beverage…
1. Being confused as to whether or not you’ve hopped on the night tube…
2. Oh no wait, our bad, it’s 4pm.
3. It’s just pitch black. In the afternoon. Meaning we’ll be need to make an investment in these…
4. Your urge to go into shops (just for warmth) increases.
5. But the shops are crammed with frantic Christmas shoppers.
6. Thinking you’ve cracked the variant-body-temperature-on-tube-and-outside issue by wearing layers, breathable undergarments and an easily put on/taken off coat.
7. And still being too hot.
8. And too cold.
9. Not being able to control the temperature in your flat/house/car/room/bed/shoes/pants/anywhere.
10. The animalistic need to go into hibernation.
11. And being informed that this is ‘not an acceptable excuse’ for snoozing under your desk at work.
12. The most active part of your day being the run from the bedroom to the shower.
13. The continuous contemplation of one’s morality when slipping/freezing/sweltering/shopping.
14. Nose blowing having become an integral part of your day.
15. Thanks to both the weather, pollution and germs from the fellow commuter who’s face was in, on and around yours throughout the entire journey home the other day…sneezing.
16. The constant oscillation of emotions between hope and dread for snow.
17. The empty promises of snow.
18. The real promises of travel disruption.
19. Even without snow. Or cold. Or any real excuses.
20. Questionable outfit choices, because, well, winter in London.
21. But sort of getting away with them. ‘Sort of’ being the operative words.
Featured image: Twitter – Jurys Inn Hotels