‘It was like something out of a movie’…said no person living in London. Ever. Except perhaps if referencing ‘Apocalypse Now’ in relation to your bank account…
1. No one goes to the cinema anymore.
2. Because all Londoners either have Netflix or download films illegally.
3. So no date would ever be like this.
5. NOT sneaking into an out of bounds garden with Ronan Keating playing in the background.
6. No RP accent (and even better hair) could charm its way out of a serious bollocking on the street having spilt orange juice on someone.
7. And no person in their right mind would be setting foot inside the butter finger’s HOUSE!
9. Or any house for that matter.
10. Although this sounds rather reasonable in terms of flatmates…
12. And this:
13. Absolutely no one says ‘bugger’.
14. Or swears that much in general, really.
16. Except maybe someone from Made in Chelsea.
17. So yeh, you never, ever see really famous people.
19. And out of sheer loneliness, Will definitely would have settled with the fruitarian.
21. If someone asked us how long we were going to stay in London. Our answer would be this too…
