Whilst everyone is hyping over the release of Pokémon Go, and finding ways to download it in the UK before it is officially released, it is safe to say it is not our cup of tea and that we would rather be doing a number of things than playing this game.
1. Commute on the Central Line in August
We would rather have some sweaty commuters clammy body pressed up against ours at 8am instead of being forced to find Pikachu around the capital.
2. Hand out flyers on the Embankment
How does being ignored for several hours in the freezing cold, whilst attempting to hand out flyers to tourists who only care about the London Eye sound? Absolutely brilliant if it means we don’t have to play Pokémon Go.
3. Protest over Brexit
Marching for miles across London, probably in the freezing cold, wielding a placard that states ‘Fromage not Farage’ sounds like a more appealing day than traipsing around Oxford Street looking for Charizard.
4. Get a rail replacement bus in zone 5 when you need to be in zone 1
Who cares if we have to stand on what feels like a simulator for two hours, packed in like sardines. As long as we don’t have to play Pokémon Go we are happy.
5. Work as a Deliveroo driver on Christmas Day
Spending your day riding around on a bicycle, delivering singletons their delicious meals, whilst you starve and miss your Grandma who travelled all the way from Dorset to spend time with you, as well as receiving continuous abuse from passers by sounds like the best Christmas Day if it means we do not have to endure Pokémon Go.
6. Go for a pint with Nigel Farage
Going for a drink with the ex-leader of UKIP? No Pokémon Go? Win win.
7. Wash The Shard‘s windows with water from the River Thames
Who doesn’t love the idea of cleaning 602,779 square feet (the equivalent of eight football pitches) of glass with polluted river water? May sound tedious to some, but so is playing Pokémon Go.
8. Clean Camden Market with a toothbrush
Getting into all those nooks and crannies with a Tesco Everyday Value toothbrush sounds like a fun, family day out compared to collecting Pokémon.
9. Give your Uber driver directions around Shoreditch
There’s nothing worse than having to give your driver directions around somewhere like Shoreditch. But then again, you could be playing Pokémon Go, which is a lot, lot worse.
10. Be Big Ben’s personal bell-ringer
Being the Hunchback of Big Ben sounds like a rather exhilarating hobby compared to playing Pokémon Go as it involves alerting Londoners of what time it is, instead of walking around the city looking for fictional characters that resemble that of a toddler’s drawing.
Featured Image Credit: Alex Finnis