“How is this relevant?”
“Whatever else will they come up with next?!”
“What’s so ‘secret’ about Beyoncé?”
“Who writes this crap?!”
The SL writer pushes her chair back from her desk. Yet another disastrous post has befallen her, with more hateful comments than helpful. She wipes away a single tear, staring out forlornly at the beloved city she so desperately tries to entertain. “I just thought they’d like a post about Beyoncé,” she whispers quietly “Everyone likes Beyoncé.”
1. That first swipe with your Oyster.
2. The second when you realise the first didn’t work.
3. Powerwalking down the escalator.
4. And nearly falling because someone doesn’t know the Golden Rule.
5. Running to make the train before the doors close.
6. And shuffling about awkwardly when you admit defeat.
7. Dealing with the extreme sweat levels with a deadpan expression.
8. And trying to subtly cool yourself down.
9. But then catching your reflection in the window looking like ?
10. Trying to find your own bit of breathing room.
11. And giving up and hugging the pole instead.
12. Getting body-checked and thinking.
13. And nearly missing your stop because you’re so squashed in.
14. But then someone moves to let you through.
15. And you realise they’re actually quite hot.
16. So you give them this look as the train pulls away.
17. …before realising you got off at the wrong stop…
18. …aaaaand the next tube is delayed.
19. Getting overtaken as as you walk up the stairs.
20. And dying when someone sneezes onto the back of your head.
21. Imagining practising your Tae Bo moves on all these idiots.
22. Before checking your phone and realising how late you are.
23. Choosing to walk up the escalator because you fancy some calf definition.