You can blame it on the city: on the fact that it’s too big; too expensive; too unwelcoming; too full of socially stunted people who would rather put firelighters in their shoes than spark up a conversation on the Tube. But ultimately, there could be a few other factors in play. And something tells us London isn’t the only one to blame…
1. Because you don’t like sharing the duvet.
2. Because every time you go on dates you end up crying.
3. Because Vodka Revs is not a good place to meet new people.
4. Because 1 out of 5 people only change their sheets once a month.
5. Because Cumberbatch or no one.
7. Because you don’t like the word ‘snuggling’.
8. Because if anyone called you ‘snuggles’ you’d punch them in the face.
9. Because you keep friend requesting people on Facebook before you’ve even met them.
10. Because you suffer from the Messiah complex.
12. Because you took him to Primark one too many times.
13. Because you refuse to date anyone that doesn’t live on a tube line.
14. Because you’re an idiot when you’re drunk.
16. Because you’d rather wear Crocs.
17. Because when you laugh really hard you sometimes lose control of your pelvic muscles.
18. Because your morning routine is sacred.
19. Because gal pals.
21. Because you’re an under-sharer.
22. Because holding hands is the germ-equivalent of burying your fingers in a rubbish bin.
23. Because you’re indifferent about people that are really into you.
24. Because your friends with boyfriends are the worst.
26. Because M&S cotton briefs make you feel happy.
27. Because you CBA to remove the mass of hair from your shower drain.
28. Because you’d rather spend your bonus on a Nutri Bullet.
29. Because you have way too much of an appetite for adventure.
31. Because you don’t return favours.
32. Because “should we make it Facebook official?”
33. Because Crosstown doughnuts are a way better way to spend money.
34. Because you talk about your ex too much.
35. Because Beyonce.
