27 Low-Key Phobias Every Londoner Has


1. Having to run for a bus


2. Getting stuck in the barriers at the station


3. Tapping your oyster and seeing “Seek Assistance”


4. Tripping over anywhere in public

5. Getting off of a train and turning the wrong way for the exit

6. Walking down an escalator and thinking who’d catch you if you tumbled down

7. Or thinking that your shoelaces could get trapped and you’ll never make it off alive


8. Pressing the ‘stop’ button on the bus only for your driver to wizz past your stop


9. Pret being closed on the way in to work


10. Those confident London pigeons coming far too close …

11. … And ruining your outfit by strategically poo-ing all over you

12. Getting stuck behind a group of slow walkers

13. Or worse: getting stuck behind a group of selfie-taking tourists


14. Noticing that your favourite takeaway only scores a 3 out of 5 on its health rating


15. Seeing someone you kinda (not really) know on public transport and having the entire carriage listen in on your awkward conversation


16. Anyone making eye contact with you on said public transport

17. Going to one of those restaurants with long, open tables

18. Because that means strangers could be sitting with you … erm no.

19. Running out of data and having to say goodbye to your bus app, Uber and social media on the go


20. Aggressive newspaper people shoving the Evening Standard at your chest


21. Then refusing it and wondering what all these strangers must think of you


22. TfL strikes. Need we say more?

23. Those spontaneous after-work drinks plans that pop up a few days before pay day

24. Maybe just those few days before pay day, in general. Hello baked beans my old friend.

25. That dreaded rent increase letter from your landlord


26. When you honestly have no change to give the homeless person on your carriage


27. Or god forbid, fall out of love with our wonderful city.


Other times London had us laughing:

? 10 Funny London Sandwich Boards That Will Definitely Make You Smile
? 25 Mr Men And Little Miss For Every London Situation
? 30 Times London Made You Feel Broke AF

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