21 Things All Londoners Will Hear Themselves Say This January

Of course, by the time February comes around, you’ll have forgotten all of this and be back to your slobby, lazy, money-spending self. But at least the thought was there…

1. I’m definitely going to stop going to Pret. The instant coffee at work will do me just fine. 
[The Odyssey]
2. I will start walking more. 

Including the stairs at Covent Garden.

3. I’m definitely going to join a gym.
4. Or at least start running.

Where’s the nearest park?

5. I must stop eating McDonald’s after a night out.
6. I ought to stop eating fast food, full stop.
7. I need to stop going out on school nights.  
9. New year, new me.
[Advised By Avia]

(9 times out of 10 this will be said ironically, of course).

10. Jesus, my bank account is looking diabolical.
11. I’m going to start exploring London more.
[Pinterest | Baglioni Hotels]

I may even leave zone 3.

12. I’m going to learn a new skill. 

Perhaps I’ll memorise the tube map so that I can delete CityMapper…

13. Bloody hell it’s cold, innit?
14. I’m definitely going to be better at budgeting this year.

*Spends £60 on a round*

15. 2017 is definitely going to be MY year.
[Funny Or Die]
16. I’m going to keep up with current affairs.

i.e. I’m going to follow Sadiq Khan on Twitter.  

17. I’m going to be more cultured this year. 

Maybe I’ll go to the National Gallery or the Science Museum. Maybe.

18. Dry January? Ha! That didn’t last long.
[Daily Edge]
19. Maybe I should I try a detox juice diet or something.
20. Jeeez, I can’t wait for the Easter bank holiday… 
21. Ffs, they’re already selling Easter Eggs.

Feature Image: Flickr/James Petts

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