Yes, it’s the “month of love” and no, I still don’t have a boyfriend*.
But please, save me the pity. I’m doing fine without it, thanks very much. Here’s why being single in London is actually pretty f*cking great:
1. You actually have time to do stuff.
2. And you can do whatever the f*ck you want.
3. You don’t have to answer to anybody.
4. You can focus on your career and your soul and all that BS.
5. If you were with someone, they’d probably be wrong for you anyway.
6. You can piss off out of here whenever you like and no one will miss you.
7. (Okay that’s a bit mean, lots of people would miss you).
8. You won’t be involved in any soppy PDA.
9. I mean, what kind of sick human being would want to hold hands on the tube anyway?
10. There’s no risk of turning into the d*ckheads who snog each other on the escalator.
11. You can stick two fingers up at Valentine’s Day, but still spend it with your one true love: Netflix.
12. You don’t have to share your tiny London bedroom with another human being.
13. You can scoff your pizza in peace, without anybody sticking their hands in and assuming their rights to a slice.
14. You don’t have to spend time overthinking texts from your S.O.
15. Or worrying that they’ve gone off you or gone off with someone else.
16. You can still enjoy quality time with Tinder.
17. And nobody is going to drag you to see 50 Shades of Grey.
18. You can flirt all you like and no one can stop you. Except maybe the person you’re flirting with. Which would be embarrassing.
19. Happy hour is the happiest hour. Because you can have both drinks to yourself.
20. And you can spend time lovingly staring at London’s beauty.
21. Instead of into somebody’s eyes.
*I wrote this article last year and have since found myself a boyfriend who is actually quite nice. I hope this doesn’t take away from the “I’m an independent woman who don’t need no man” narrative in which I wrote this article. Being single is still great. Big up singledom! Wooo! Singledom is great! But, you know, so is my boyfriend. (Needed to add this just in case he thinks I hate him and don’t want to snog him on the escalator anymore).
Also published on Medium.