We’re well into Spring and while we’ve had a couple of sunny days to show for it, we’ve already caught a glimpse of British Summertime Madness. Londoners have started stripping off their winter layers, invading beer gardens and roof top bars and queuing through the doors at Nardulli’s Ice Cream shop in Clapham. And, yes, we have spotted some flip flops. This is just the beginning. But what can you expect? We don’t get a lot of sunshine, so of course our reactions are extreme…
1. “Oh, what a lovely day!”… in every single conversation.
2. Except it’s said with a touch of bitterness when you’re in the office…
3. “It’s a beautiful day and we’re stuck in here, slaving away to the Man.”
4. “Let me tell you something Steve (from HR) – we live to work and die. Society is totally screwed.”
5. “No Steve. I don’t know how to connect to the printer. Why the fuck do I care about the printer on a day like today?”
6. “Look at the Thames – tormenting us in the sunshine. A beautiful, glimmering brown.”
7. “Why am I employed? I might quit my job, live on an old barge and spend days like this with my shirt off on the deck, asleep with the sun on my face.”
8. “People in Spain don’t have to worry about this b*llsh*t. They’re guaranteed sun all the time.”
10. “TfL seriously need to work on their air con.”
There is a woman on the tube with a bag of frozen peas down her cleavage. The rest of us are cursing the fact that we don’t.
— Saurabh Kakkar (@saurabhkakkar) 1 July 2015
11. “I don’t know whether to wear a coat or not.”
12. “… Should have worn a coat.”
13. “How am I sweating this much?!”
14. “Is it too soon to get the legs out?”
15. “…Better shave my legs first, it’s been a while.”
16. At 3pm: “Soooo… shall we call it a day and go for Tuesday drinks? Anyone?”
17. “We should head to somewhere with a roof garden.”
18. “And quickly – before the whole of London gets the same idea…”
19. “…I’ve been waiting for a drink for 30 minutes.”
20. “I am going to DEHYDRATE in this heat.”
21. “Soooo…. Wednesday after-work drinks? Anyone?”
22. “Pimm’s is one of your 5 a day…”
23. “Why has the whole of London now decided to follow us to the South Bank today?!”
24. “Just try and stop me from jumping in those fountains though…”
25. “Time for an ice cream?”
26. “Let’s make a spontaneous trip to the seaside. And get ice cream.”
27. “What kind of world do we live in when the Flake 99 £2?!”
28.*Dips one toe in* “Fuck, the sea is cold.”
29. “We’re having a BBQ this weekend, if you fancy it…”
QUICK, BARBECUE EVERYTHING! pic.twitter.com/llYhP5Ldvi
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) 25 March 2016
30. “It’s raining. Back inside.”
31. “No sun cream for me thanks – it’s not that hot.”
32. “Yeah, I burnt.”
“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun” – Translation: I’ll call an ambulance
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) 25 March 2016
33. “It’s great to leave the office when it’s still light!”
34. “So, Thursday afternoon drinks? Anyone?”
35. “Yes, the sun forces me to drink alcohol.”
36. “It makes me THIRSTY, ok?!”
37. “And why waste this weather?!”
38. “Well, that lasted all of 2 days. I’m moving abroad.”
Featured Image credit: Huffington Post