It’s not often that you hear actual conversations on the tube — it’s an unspoken (lol) rule that people don’t generally speak to each other on public transport. But sometimes it does happen, and you lot have been listening in at just the right moments to capture some absolute crackers. Here’s some of the best from 2016…
1. Ho ho haux…
#overheardonthetube – “So, did you notice I’ve started spelling “hoe” like ‘H-A-U-X’…? It’s like, a posh way of saying it.”
— Alice Millichamp (@AliceMillichamp) July 22, 2016
2. Take that as a yes.
‘I asked if he was into me and he sent me the warthog emoji ?’ #overheardonthetube
— Ro Wilkinson (@RoCWilkinson) March 17, 2016
3. When London gets mean, it gets nasty.
“You’re such a Tuesday.”
Has there ever been a better insult? #OverheardOnTheUnderground
— David Stevens (@_DavidStevens) November 15, 2016
4. The tube is full of bright sparks…
Best overheard on the tube ‘how do even turn a tube around?’…umm does someone want to point it out?!!
— Rachel Ng (@LittleRach76) November 18, 2016
5. And if you thought ‘Tuesday’ was mean…
Just overheard an old lady on the tube say “fuck him and his tiny Trump like hands” and I’ve never loved London more.
— Jim Daly (@jimdalycomedy) November 12, 2016
6. Classic ‘Murica…
Overheard on the tube this morning, “It’s not funny, it’s not money, but it’s so typical of America to have to out do us on Brexit” #Trump
— John Mark Bishop (@MarkyBee) November 9, 2016
7. Ha! Chance would be a fine thing…
Overheard on the tube: do they sell coffee on here? #londonunderground
— Beth Anderton-Allen (@eandertonallen) November 3, 2016
8. Still not found yourself in Rush Hour Crush, eh?
Overheard on the tube from lone man getting off train: “People who say the best things in life are free haven’t read the f**king Metro”
— Íse (@isemurphy) October 7, 2016
9. It’s an important lesson to be learned.
Overheard on the tube: “it’s like I need to give you a life lesson on how to not get a hickey on your boob from your boyfriend”
— lil stuecks (@stuecks) September 27, 2016
10. They have a fair point.
Overheard on Victoria Line: “You know why British people don’t talk to each other on the #tube? There’s no weather down here to discuss.”
— Jessica McClellan (@jessmcclellan92) September 14, 2016
11. Oh, the Digital Age.
Overheard on the tube:
A [struggling to fold paper]: Why isn’t this paper working?
B: Why don’t you plug it in?
— Alli Shultes (@alli_shultes92) September 14, 2016
12. This woman probably ought to work on her whisper.
Overheard whisper on the tube: “if I wanted to be this close to someone fat and sweaty I would still be in bed with John.” ? #whoisjohn
— Gleb Toropov (@GlebToropov) September 9, 2016
13. This one needs no introduction.
Overheard on the tube:
Man: “if I had to shag a dwarf it would be Tywyn Lannister”
Woman: “right. That was a bit out of the blue.”
— Samantha Baines (@samanthabaines) June 9, 2016
14. A tastier alternative to disaster.
Just overheard a man on the tube use the word “pavlova” instead of “palaver”. It seemingly went unnoticed by his companion.
— Amy Cartlidge (@CartlidgeAmy) May 19, 2016
15. Bravo, my friend.
Overheard on the tube: “Look it’s even got five likes on ‘the’ Instagram. I’m like Beyoncé.”
— Christopher Golds (@chrisgolds) April 24, 2016