Slough may not quite touch London, but David Brent would do just fine in this city…
1. When you have a new Tinder date lined up on Friday night and you try to be optimistic about it to your friends…
2. But then your date suggests meeting in Leicester Square.
And any optimism that was once there vanishes entirely.
3. To make matters worse, you find out the guy’s an aspiring (but clearly hopeless) DJ.
One deep house night in Dalston and his ‘life was changed’…
4. Somehow, you managed to make a swift exit… Only to end up in Infernos with your pissed pals.
Not really sure which is worse… your shit date or the sticky carpeted floors.
5. You wake up the next morning, with only an irremovable stamp on your hand and flashbacks of the disco room to go by.
6. Like, serious flashbacks…
You thought you were killing it at the time…
7. And now Instagram stories are a thing, that gives you some insight too.
Or just endless bathroom selfies.
8. When the Uber driver cancels the trip after you’ve been running around trying to find him for 15 minutes.
Okay, so it was probably your fault. #Boozed.
9. You ended up getting the night bus home. And made the error of talking to people.
You chatted complete bollocks, because night tube.
10. You managed to lose your house keys (probs in the Chicken Shop), so are praying that your flatmate is awake.
But they aren’t, so they’ll probably despise you and your greasy chicken hands when they answer the door.
11. When you reconvene with your mates for a recovery lunch the next day…
“Wait, I did what?”
12. Then you read allowed the texts you sent to your ex last night.
13. Your piggy hangover meal (hopefully you’ve gone for a Dirty Bones or the like) leaves you with a third trimester food baby.
And no amount of sucking in will help this one.
14. But in the end, you don’t give a f*ck. Because it’s a Sunday. Heck, you might even call in sick tomorrow.
I don’t live by “the rules”. pic.twitter.com/atb8j5W97C
— David Brent (@DAVlDBRENT) 27 June 2016
Featured Image: Dave UK