14 Signs You Need To Get The Hell Out Of London

We at Secret London love London, obviously. We also love to hate London. We also know exactly how to tell when you need to take a break from this glorious city before your ‘love/hate’ relationship just becomes ‘hate/hate.’


1. You’ve unintentionally memorised the announcements of tube stations on your daily commute.

2. And find yourself mouthing them along with the woman ‘Bethnal Green, Mile End, Stratford…’

3. You’re broke. 

4. So broke that you can’t afford food.

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5. You’ve forgotten that wearing a floor length leather coat with spikes down the back is only normal in Camden.

6. You’ve lost all concept of the meaning of the word ‘cheap.’

7. And think that paying £30 in a cab from London Bridge to Canary Wharf is ‘pretty reasonable!’

8. And that £4 for a small, black, filter coffee is an ‘absolute steal!’

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9. The only time you’re not drunk is when you’re hungover.

10. And the only time you’re not hungover is when you’re drunk.

11. You think that waiting anything longer than 4 minutes for the next train is unacceptable.

12. You absolutely hate pigeons with a passion that would upset David Attenborough.

 13. You think that Hyde Park is ‘the countryside.’

14. You won’t walk anyway further than 20 minutes away.


[Feature Image: flickr: Davide D’Amico]

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