If you can’t spot the ridiculous hipster in your life, then it’s probably you.
Struggling to buy a present for Clementine, your Hackney-based artist friend who’s never been inside a chain supermarket? Fretting about whether Atticus would prefer a stag’s head or an ironic Smiths poster to adorn the walls of his artisan coffee house? Secret London has rounded up the best gifts for your hipster friend this Christmas, so you can be on trend without trying too hard. Whatever, we’re so over it.
Flannery is just going to freak out when she realises she can drink her double-filtered organic chai spice latte out of this bad boy!
£10.99, available from Etsy.
If Gus has run out of wardrobe options for that anti-capitalist poetry night, you can swoop in, save the day, and then enjoy his withering rhymes about bankers.
£49.31, available from Uncommon Goods.
3. Vinyl subscriptions
Ramona has bought every old record in the shop, but still wants vinyls from bands you’ve never heard of. She’ll be thrilled to find that you’ve arranged for a delivery of pressed perfection to arrive on her doorstep every month.
Jagger is feeling festive, but he won’t be caught dead in a Christmas jumper. Luckily, you’ve found something seasonal that also shows off his glorious neckbeard.
£14.99, available from Firebox.
Since she started her sugar-free lifestyle, Juniper has been casting around for a suitable advent calendar. Guess who’s just saved her Christmas?
£65, available from Beer Hawk.
Axl is working hard on growing that man bun, but sadly he’s not quite there yet. Until he’s ready to rock his own, this clip-in alternative will make sure he blends in seamlessly.
£5.99, available from Ebay.
When she’s touring with her seventeen-piece acoustic garage band, Amory needs a ukulele that’s going to look and sound good. Aren’t you a pal for finding her the perfect one?
All the styles and colours you can imagine, available from Etsy.
“It isn’t a house party without oak-smoked prosciutto!” If this sounds like Otis, then a monthly delivery of artisan charcuterie in a faux wooden box will stop him from tearing his moustache out.
Carnivore Club have boxes starting from £29 per month.
India hasn’t been to Starbucks in over a decade, and thanks to you, she won’t be changing that anytime soon.
Sandows has cold brew coffee starting from £13.
Homer has to attend his cousin’s wedding, but it’s going to be a pretty mainstream affair. At least he’ll look spiffy with these suspenders, and perhaps a knitted bow tie will help him upstage the groom…
£38.49, available from Etsy.
11. Retro cardigans
There are so many to choose from, but whichever one you end up getting her, Kai will be both warm and amazingly alternative this winter.
Etsy has cardigans and sweatshirts in all prints and sizes.
Michael is very new to this hipster stuff. He still gets the Underground instead of cycling, hasn’t grown a beard yet, and won’t change his name to Beckett for another couple of months. Buy him this beanie and beard combo so that he can begin his transformation to bonafide hipster.
£25, available from Etsy.
Once you’ve got the perfect gift for your hipster pal, you’ll need to wrap it up perfectly – and naturally, you’ll want one of these hipster wrapping paper choices. Why not choose a mean and green one, or else go for the hairier option?