Shoreditch is a wondrous place full of trendy pop-ups and street food markets and, although widely known for its hipsterdom, there is actually a diverse range of people who frequent and reside there. Would you believe it! Diversity, in London?!
1. The “I only drink in independent coffee shops” Hipster
Orders a soya latte and a goats cheese salad (are you a vegan or not, mate?) and will sit reading ‘Brave New World’ with a pen behind his ear.
2. The “Did you know I’m a member of Shoreditch House?” Banker
David, 29, wears dapper tailored suits and drinks whiskey on ice. He’ll be trying to convince himself and anyone else who will listen that he absolutely adores his job, and you can sure as hell bet that he had cocaine for breakfast.
3. The “Extravagant outfit that literally nobody else could pull off” Fashionista
We’re not even really sure if they can pull it off. We’re talking septuple denim and green lipstick. It’s an absolute travesty but you can’t help but admire them for their bravery.
4. The Foodie
Dinerama, Pump, Urban Food Fest… they’ve been to every Shoreditch street food market you could name, and then some. And if a new restaurant is opening, you can be sure that they’ll be the first to know — especially if it’s an immersive pop-up and/or it’s in an old shipping container.
5. The “None of this vodka lemonade bullshit” Bar Snob
You won’t find them in Boxpark or The Old Blue Last, oh no! They’ll be in Nightjar or Happiness Forgets, sipping pre-prohibition cocktails and discussing their favourite bourbons. They’ll know exactly where to get the best martini and which bars serve their cocktails in jam jars with rosemary garnishes.
6. The Vintage Shopper
Her entire outfit will have once belonged to somebody’s grandma before being branded as “vintage” by somebody wearing trousers made from old curtains (because that defines expertise, of course). It will have cost the same as something from Topshop and it will look like they’ve bought it from a charity shop, but now they can say they bought their itchy floral cardigan from Beyond Retro and that makes all the difference.
7. The “Apple Mac” Creative
Works for a digital marketing agency, drinks beer in the office (at least on a Friday), goes to Pret at lunchtimes and probably takes their dog into work with them.
8. The “I love deep house” Raver
After recently discovering Deep House, this guy can be found at either XOYO or a “secret” warehouse party. They might try to convince you to join them because “there’s a sick DJ playing”, but you’ll decline the offer on the premise that all house DJs sound exactly the damn same (and also, you should never trust anyone who takes horse tranquilliser).
10. The “My Curry is the Best on Brick Lane” Bloke
He’s standing outside his empty restaurant, begging you to come inside. He’ll try desperately to convince you that his shop is the best and will keep gesturing to the big-ass Tripadvisor sign above the shop window in order to prove it. You’ll kindly decline because you’ve just had dinner at Dishoom, but he’ll follow you down the road until he’s entirely satisfied with his efforts. The next guy will give you the exact same spiel, and the phrase “Best Curry on Brick Lane” suddenly loses all meaning. Trust no one.
11. The Street Art Buff
They’ll have been down every dark and pissy alley searching for street art with their iPhones at the ready. They’ll have a very strong opinion about the difference between art and graffiti, and will have some crazy-ass theory about Banksy’s true identity.
Feature image: Flickr / Cory Doctorow