When nature calls, here’s where to wee in the capital…
Unless you’re really dull, going for a wazz isn’t about to be the highlight of anyone’s day. But there is literally nothing worse than desperately needing a wee and having absolutely nowhere to go. Here to save the day once again is Secret London – you’re welcome – with our little list of the very best and most handy places to pee, in this great city we call home.
1. Stations with free toilets
Mercifully, since April 2019, it became totally free to spend a penny at a number of London train stations. Rather than paying for the pleasure at Paddington or Bank, stations such as Euston and King’s Cross, Victoria, London Bridge and Charing Cross will let you go for free; well, that is a relief. Forget frantically fumbling for 30p as you wait for your train to be announced, just plan a route that means you can have a much more peaceful peeing experience.
2. In a policeman’s hat
Ok, before you get too excited, this doesn’t apply to all of you; you can’t just grab a constables helmet and unleash your bladder whenever you feel like it. Well, you actually can if you’re pregnant. While public urination is still an illegal act, the law states that police officers can make an exception for expectant mothers and legend states that a police officer’s helmet is the perfect place to go if you find yourself cut short.
3. The sketch toilets
If you’re hoping to acquire some enviable Insta pics when you pop for a pee, then your best bet is the highly artistic sketch toilets. Renowned for their neon lights and egg-shaped cubicles, these babies are always making an appearance online and undeniably look like an exhibition at The Tate rather than your average lav. No wonder they’re amongst London’s most Instagrammable toilets!
4. Wesley’s Chapel
Boasting its status as the oldest public toilet in London, Wesley’s Chapel is the place to wee if you fancy a little historic vibe during your visit. Installed over 100 years ago and designed by Thomas Crapper – no, we’re not joking – these gents facilities are some of the most notable in the whole city.
5. Aqua Shard
If you’re looking for a loo with a view then there’s really only one place for you to go: Aqua Shard. Towering above the city and offering utterly fantastic views out across the Thames, tinkling at the top of London’s tallest building really does have its advantages.
Now this is more of a top tip than a designated destination, but pubs are a lifesaver when it comes to needing a wee. Unlike Costa, Mcdonalds or any of those other massive chains which require you to key in some random receipt code before you can actually get into the loos, pubs are often the safest place to go for a quick wee, without having to buy anything. Slip in past the boozers and off to the bathroom without anyone noticing and save yourself the unnecessary cucumber sandwich. Result.
7. South End Green
South End Green loos are, let’s face it, rather infamous. Visited by the likes of George Michael and other star-studded celebs, they’re often in news for rather naughty things… But, we like them for their beautiful wrought iron curlicues and fancy chess board floors. A Victorian lav which is likely to impress you with its luxurious interiors and louche history, it’s really no wonder it made the list.
Ok so technically, this place isn’t a loo anymore – but there is still a loo in there, so that kind of counts. The aptly named Ladies and Gentlemen sits hidden beneath the streets of Kentish Town; masquerading as a public toilet. Although it use to be a restroom, this place has been totally transformed and now exists as a cracking cocktail bar. If you venture in, you can go for a slash and grab a drink at the same time; win win.