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17 Reasons Why London Is The Best Place To Be After A Breakup

Lucy Bloxham Lucy Bloxham

breakup-london-1

Breakups are never fun. Unless you’ve been dating someone with Boris Johnson’s hair and Gordon Ramsey’s mouth. Then it’s PHEWWWYYYYY! But if there’s one place that can fix a broken heart (and dignity…and soul…and phone having thrown in the ex-lover’s direction…) it’s London. And here’s why.

 

 

1. You’ll probably never bump into them again.

2. And if you do, there will an abundance of people around you available to grab and pretend that they’re your new squeeze…

3. Although be prepared for some funny looks…and possibly a restraining order…

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4. There are SO many distractions in London.

5. Or at least activities that you can pretend to have done in order to make yourself look busy and cool.

6. Whereas in reality you’ve just been living at your nearest single slice pizza place and taking lonesome, reflective walks along to Thames listening to Enya.

7. And pretending that you’re Bridget Jones…

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8. There are PLENTY more fish in the sea.

9. Although with the amount of banker wankers, hipsters and psychopaths haunting our beloved city, it may not feel like it.

10. Which is where Fever comes in and saves the day with its brilliant speed dating plans.

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11. If you’re sad about the break up and just want to stay in bed, you can easily blame TfL for hindering your journey to work.

12. At least 3 days in a row.

13. And if you’re sad about the break up at work, you can easily blame your rent price/London’s expense in general/the fact that it’s June and -4• for the tears…

Or it’s just been raining on your face…[Giphy]
14. Your morning commute will ensure that you do not miss the touch of another human being.

15. In fact, your morning commute will ensure that you do not miss the weight of another persons body on yours…

16. Or the smell of aftershave/perfume/sweat…

17. Or the sound of someone’s breath in your ear…

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18. It is easy to get a change of scenery in the city.

19. Or there are some stunning secret escapes just outside.

20. But why would you want that…and why would you want anyone else…

21. When you have the best city in the world right in front of you!

 

Featured Image Credit: Cosmopolitan

Tags: break-up, funny