So long, guided meditation – I am going to throw an AXE at some WOOD.
The Viking-as-fuck pastime of axe-throwing is now available to angry urbanites, thanks to Whistlepunks – and it’s a satisfyingly primaeval alternative to darts and archery.
Situated in an arch in Vauxhall, south London, the simply-adorned Whistlepunks venue is London’s first axe-throwing center. Here, Londoners can get to grips with a mighty hand axe, send it whirling down the range, and hopefully bury it in the bullseye with a satisfying THWUNK.
Admittedly, there is a certain knack to successful axe-throwing; you need to impart just the right amount of spin so that it strikes the target blade-first, which requires a lot of trial-and-error. You’ll also have to test the relative merits of the single- and double-handed throws. Luckily, expert axe-chuckers are on hand to provide helpful instruction, or at least sensitive words of encouragement.
After much experimentation, you’ll hopefully start to get the hang of things, for in the latter half of each ninety-minute session you’ll be keeping score in a tournament format, to decide who is the most skilful axe-wielder of all. (Get tickets here.)
A few other things to bear in mind: there’s no booze allowed, for obvious reasons, and no, you mustn’t be squiffy from pre-drinks either. Open-toed shoes can’t be worn, and (how many jilted lovers have asked to do this?!) there’s strictly no throwing axes at pictures of people!
You will be sharing a target with other people (up to twelve people share a set of two targets) so you have to book the whole thing out if you want to be antisocial. On the other hand, The venue can host up to 48 players at once if you’re planning a big, axe-y party.
Location: Arch 25, Handel Business Centre, 73 Bondway, SW8 1SQ. Nearest station: Vauxhall
Opening hours: 11am-9pm weekends, 9:30am-6pm (Saturdays and Sundays)
Price: book for £22 through Fever for slots on Wednesdays and Sundays! Otherwise £29 at peak times (Thu-Sat).
More information: head to whistlepunks.com.