These Ultra-Luxe Crazy Golf Courses Are A Hole In One

share on:

Swingers is giving you the opportunity to play with some balls.

NOTE: Swingers West End opens for business at 12pm on Friday 16th March. It will be walk-ins only until March 23rd, from which point you can book tickets in advance. Swingers in the City is open as usual.

Oh, get your minds out of the gutter. Swingers Crazy Golf, despite the somewhat questionable name, just happens to be one of the best crazy golf courses in town, so all the shaft-handling here is in pursuit of par. And because London apparently can’t get enough of swinging, they’ve opened up a brand spanking new course for your putting pleasure.

The Helter-Skelter Course, Swingers West End.

Already well established as the best swinging spot in the City of London (for the love of all that is holy, don’t Google that to verify it), Swingers now have a joint in the West End. Taking up residence in the former BHS flagship store, they’re offering a paean to putting, testing your nerve, skill, and sobriety. Both locations offer two nine-hole courses, inspired by the British summertime.

The Windmill Course, Swingers in the City. Photo: @swingersldn

Down in a cavernous WW2 bunker beneath the Gherkin, the City branch offers the luxurious Lighthouse course, and the Windmill course, which could leave you in a spin if you aren’t careful. Meanwhile, in the West End, Swingers have been inspired by the roaring twenties, modelling their courses upon the English riviera. Whether you’re wound up by the Big Wheel course, or sent skedaddling by the Helter Skelter course, you’ll get your kicks good and proper.

The Big Wheel Course, Swingers West End.

All that furious clubbing is going to use up your energy rather fast. Better reload with the excellent range of street food on offer: pizza pals Made of Dough (West End) and Pizza Pilgrims (City), burger buddies Patty & Bun (both), Mexican mavericks Breddos Tacos (West End) and DF/Mexico (City), and ice-cream ingenues Hackney Gelato (West End only).

Photo: @swingersldn

Swingers have a massive drinks list, including some truly spiffing cocktails. Personally, I felt the potent bourbon espresso martini was the reason my game nosedived in round two. Meanwhile, the limoncello and Aperol combo known as The Italian Job went down rather too easily with some of the Secret London team… You can order from bar, or talk to one of Swingers’ caddies, who’ll ferry the drinks to you. I think we’ve just found a great way to improve the Ryder Cup!

The Lighthouse Course, Swingers in the City. Photo: @swingersldn

Once you’ve triumphed over your vanquished comrades, you’ll naturally want to rub your victory in their faces. Happily, Swingers has a podium to do that, and you can even get your celebrations immortalised in glorious boomerang form. You know we did.


Location: Swingers’ West End branch is on 15 John Prince’s Street, W1G 0AB, nearest station is Oxford Circus. Their City branch is at 8 Brown’s Buildings, EC3A 8AL, nearest station is Aldgate. See ’em on Google Maps.
Opening hours: both branches are open for booking between 12:30pm and 11pm.
Price: it costs £13 per person per round at peak times, or £10 per round during off-peak hours (Monday to Wednesday before 5pm).
More information: from their website.

Featured image: @swingersldn

More spiffing spots:

🎯 These Hi-Tech Dart Halls Hit The Target Nicely
🍫 This Restaurant Puts Chocolate In Everything
🌳 A Ruined Church Transformed Into A Peaceful Park
🧀 Ooh La La, A French Eatery With A Cheese Trolley!

Alex Landon

Alex Landon

Although Alex spent most of his life in Somerset and Durham, London is (almost) in his name, so he relocated to Clapham and fell in love with it. However, this has put him dangerously close to Infernos... You'll find him eating all of London's street food, lost in a bookshop, or shouting at his beloved ice hockey team, the Minnesota Wild.

Leave a Reply