Commuting in London is a rich source of comedy, as the Internet is quick to point out.
Never a dull moment in this city, eh? Whether you’re dodging the elbows of your fellow Londoners on the Central line, waiting in vain for a bus, or doing something truly rogue like taking the Emirates Air Line to work (you madman!), there’s a certain amount of levity to be found in commuting. We turned to the Internet’s twin pillars of sheer “what the fuck”-ery – Twitter and Reddit, of course – to bring you the best (and very worst) of London transport.
1. When you realise it’d be quicker to walk to Crystal Palace
Sometimes it actually is quicker to walk, you know.
2. Perhaps drinking is the way to cope with the Underground?
3. Frankly, does anything about the Underground make sense?
European cities: we call this railway system ‘the metro’, from the French ‘chemin de fer métropolitain’, ultimately from the Greek mētrópolis, meaning ‘mother city’, from mḗtēr ‘mother’ and pólis ‘city’
London: WE CALL IT THE TUBE BECAUSE TRAIN GO IN BIG TUBE
— Danny Bate (@DannyBate4) December 9, 2019
4. Looks like those train fare hikes have dropped any pretence of subtlety
5. Your Tube feels about as ready for this commute as you are
Hello my tube is having a breakdown pic.twitter.com/ajW6DUZMGe
— the magical mister misophieles (@SophLouiseHall) April 12, 2019
6. The Piccadilly line seems particularly ill-equipped to handle life, TBH
7. …no, seriously, I think someone needs to check on the Piccadilly line
Maybe these fancy new trains will help?
8. Sometimes, a commute offers us the chance to discover what it means to be a Londoner
A little boy just screamed down the tube carriage “if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands” and everyone remained silent. I love London
— sophie thompson (@sophxthompson) May 16, 2018
9. Other days, though, you’ve just got to throw up your hands and admit that some people are crushing this whole commuting thing
10. Maybe it’s time to find common ground with the Tube?
me the London
•thousands of strangers
queuing to ride
— ruby🦎 (@roobeekeane) October 16, 2019
11. Because I certainly can’t help but empathise with this bus…
12. Whatever its faults, you should never doubt the Tube’s potential to spark a little romance
Central line, 8:30am https://t.co/tgDxTac6pa
— sz🤠 (@__sxzhr) October 6, 2019
13. I mean, I’ve certainly fallen for this ticket inspector!
Check out the Gipsy Hill station cat for more furry friends on the Underground!
12. Anyway, back to our regularly scheduled chaos!
13. Erm, anyone have a clue what’s happening here?
14. The summer heat brings all sorts of challenges, but we simply must stan for this guy
15. And you just know adding tourists to the mix is going to complicate things
Tourist: [stops for 0.006 seconds to find their ticket at the tube barriers]
Londoner: can you BELIEVE this? Talk about UNPREPARED. I was BORN with an Oyster card in my hand. My first WORDS were DELAYS on the NORTHERN line via BANK. Cut me and I BLEED rats-
— ruby🦎 (@roobeekeane) September 25, 2019
16. The most intrepid commuters will always perservere, because “life, uh, finds a way”
17. There’s being creative, and then there’s being dangerously creative though…
Please don’t actually do this, because you could get seriously hurt, or worse, tutted at by your fellow commuters.
18. Ultimately though, don’t lose sight of the facts that you’re all Londoners in this together – so try crack a smile whilst commuting, OK?
For a route to a happier commute, why not take a peep at the Tube map which shows you the cheapest pints near each station?
Also published on Medium.