For men who have just moved to London, or even those who have lived in the capital for years, making new friends can feel daunting. Eighteen months ago, two men named Tom and Dan met online and went on what they described as a slightly awkward “man date.”
Realising other men likely felt the same hesitation about platonic socialising, they organised a simple walk and coffee meet-up. Today, that initial gathering has grown into Shoulder to Shoulder, which has been labelled the “anti-manosphere” community that around 2,000 men have become part of.
The founders established the group to challenge the stigma surrounding male companionship. They embraced the “anti-manosphere” label to offer a direct, positive alternative to the negative connotations often associated with online men’s groups.
Curry clubs, book clubs and hikes
To bridge the gap between isolation and friendship, the community now organises about 25 events each month. Members regularly meet up for a curry club, a book club, and group hikes out of the city. The group’s flagship event remains their fortnightly Sunday walks, with members often gathering near the Achilles statue in Hyde Park before setting off.
Despite the casual nature of the events, there is a formal requirement to join. Every man entering the community must sign a declaration committing to five core values: respect, authenticity, growth, connection, and ambition. The founders clarify that ambition to them is not about financial wealth or career status, but rather the drive to build a joyful and fulfilling life.
Transforming isolation into connection
Operating under the slogan “we create belonging together,” Shoulder to Shoulder attracts men from various backgrounds across the city. According to the founders, new arrivals frequently show up feeling anxious and isolated. By participating in regular events over a period of six to nine months, members often undergo a noticeable shift into thriving, confident individuals.
While the primary focus is on fostering male friendship, the founders emphasise that the positive impacts extend beyond the group itself, helping members become better partners, friends, and colleagues.
Details for the fortnightly Sunday walks and the wider event schedule are posted on the community’s Instagram page, @shouldertoshouldercommunity.
