Christmas Goes Dystopian At London’s Madcap New Festive Celebration

Alex Landon Alex Landon - Editor

Wasted Christmas

Daring and debauched in equal measure, Wasted Christmas isn’t your standard festive celebration.

Softly falling snow, carollers, and heartwarming Christmas films: these are just some of the things you absolutely won’t spot at Wasted Christmas, the alternative Yuletide celebration that’s currently bringing merry mayhem to the capital. Thumbing their nose at the traditional idea of Christmas, Wasted Christmas have brought decidedly offbeat entertainment and upcycled decorations to Hackney, and there’s plenty to throw yourself into.

Wasted Christmas

Wasted Christmas imagines a future in which, by 2029, “rampant consumerism and environmental neglect have turned Earth into a rubbish-strewn wasteland”. (We’re saying nothing about Wasted’s close proximity to a recent general election.) Out of this stinking nightmare, they’ve created an upcycled, eco-friendly space for an immersive exploration of the grungier side of Christmas, which ranges from ‘Santa’s Grotty Grotto’ to some extremely non-traditional entertainment.

Wasted Christmas

For instance, witness Dick’s Cheesy Bingo, which is about as far from your nan’s version of the game as you can get. Inside a derelict bingo hall, the likes of foul-mouthed Bingo Dick and the ghost of Boris Johnson will be calling the numbers, complete with a soundtrack of bass-heavy bangers and Christmas anthems. It sounds like an absolute riot, and you can grab your tickets here.

Wasted Christmas

Speaking of things that aren’t suitable for your elderly relatives, Wasted Christmas have also brought the Dystopian Christmas Cabaret to town. With a rather distinct sensual-meets-post-apocalyptic vibe, it’s one of the more unusual cabarets you’re likely to see, featuring performers including Menage a Rouge, Minxy Strange, Curly Chaos, and Belle de Beauvoir. Find your tickets for that one here.

Wasted Christmas

Really, Wasted Christmas’ one adherence to the traditional Christmas format is to bring a cinema along for the ride. However, as with the rest of the experience, things are a little off-kilter once more; gone are The Holiday, Love Actually, and Elf, for in their stead you’ll find Aliens, Gremlins, The Nightmare Before Christmas, and plenty more. (Your tickets are available here)

Wasted Christmas

With Christmas beginning earlier and earlier each year, Wasted Christmas is the perfect antidote to too many mince pies and Cliff Richard records. It’s mad, debauched, and we absolutely love it!

Practical information

Open now until December 21st.
Tickets to all events start at £5.

Also published on Medium.

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