A bizarre flat (read: chaotic hellscape) in Holloway has just appeared on the market, and I have so! many! questions!
When you’re thinking of buying a flat in London, a lot of things come to mind. One of the first is the price. This baby will set you back north of one million, so you’d hope for a few things. Good location? Check. Modern bathroom? Check. Swimming pool that takes up an entire floor? Ummmm, what?
My eyes. MY EYES!
https://twitter.com/alice/status/1287727636836257793
Since yesterday, the price has even increased by an extra £200,000. Perhaps the demon who built this needed some extra cash to sleep at night after creating this vortex to hell. If you’re dropping a ONE-HUNDRED-AND-TWENTY-THOUSAND-POUND deposit and committing twenty-five mortgage-paying years on this you’re also not exempt from the crime of this creation. By the way, the million pounds you’d need to drop on this isn’t even enough for double beds in the bedrooms, apparently. But hey, you get two kitchens. I mean…
Yes, many dream of living near water, but it actually takes a level of skill to misinterpret that to mean this. We need to know the who, what, where, and WHY of this beast’s creation. It certainly is “** one of A kind! **”
And, as you’d expect, the internet had some things to say.
I hate everything about this flat which is clearly cursèd
— Hannah Jane Parkinson (@ladyhaja) July 27, 2020
single beds? three fridges? doesn't look lived-in at all? what's going on here?
— 🗣️ BUY FOUR STARS BY JOEL GOLBY (@joelgolby) July 27, 2020
https://twitter.com/alice/status/1287728531376680960?s=20
https://twitter.com/julialarwood/status/1287728519527768064?s=20
https://twitter.com/AlexPalmerama/status/1287768705615777792?s=20
Per minute?
— Katy (@bojanglies) July 27, 2020
I don't get why it has 2 kitchens
— Matthew Taylor 🔶 🇪🇺 🇺🇦 (@mat8iou) July 27, 2020
Lifeguard chair:
High
Plastic
Boring
UglyTub chair on a balcony:
Exciting
Executive
Classy pic.twitter.com/9zzpGkuYjF— Gail E Bishop 💙🌻 (@gailebishop) July 27, 2020
Why limit yourself to water?
Could go for champagne/custard [delete according to budget]— X (@TheOneException) July 27, 2020
https://twitter.com/Jparakilas/status/1287729753026433029?s=20
https://twitter.com/alice/status/1287746058395750404?s=20
Honestly, I could spend hours on this thread. But you get the idea. Absolutely goddamn bizarre. Never change, London. Never change.
Feast your eyes on the full nightmare on Zoopla here.