A bizarre flat (read: chaotic hellscape) in Holloway has just appeared on the market, and I have so! many! questions!
When you’re thinking of buying a flat in London, a lot of things come to mind. One of the first is the price. This baby will set you back north of one million, so you’d hope for a few things. Good location? Check. Modern bathroom? Check. Swimming pool that takes up an entire floor? Ummmm, what?
My eyes. MY EYES!
A two-bed flat in Holloway with a SWIMMING POOL is indeed ** one of A kind! ** what the fuck https://t.co/nXKaqkdEIW pic.twitter.com/XItmgrpTFF
— Alice Beverton-Palmer (@alicebevpalm) July 27, 2020
Since yesterday, the price has even increased by an extra £200,000. Perhaps the demon who built this needed some extra cash to sleep at night after creating this vortex to hell. If you’re dropping a ONE-HUNDRED-AND-TWENTY-THOUSAND-POUND deposit and committing twenty-five mortgage-paying years on this you’re also not exempt from the crime of this creation. By the way, the million pounds you’d need to drop on this isn’t even enough for double beds in the bedrooms, apparently. But hey, you get two kitchens. I mean…
Yes, many dream of living near water, but it actually takes a level of skill to misinterpret that to mean this. We need to know the who, what, where, and WHY of this beast’s creation. It certainly is “** one of A kind! **”
And, as you’d expect, the internet had some things to say.
I hate everything about this flat which is clearly cursèd
— Hannah Jane Parkinson (@ladyhaja) July 27, 2020
single beds? three fridges? doesn't look lived-in at all? what's going on here?
— JOEL GOLBY STAN ACCOUNT (@joelgolby) July 27, 2020
None of it makes any sense! There’s also an sitting room above with chairs arranged round a window that looks down on the pool: pic.twitter.com/RCquapUcJ2
— Alice Beverton-Palmer (@alicebevpalm) July 27, 2020
https://twitter.com/julialarwood/status/1287728519527768064?s=20
https://twitter.com/AlexPalmerama/status/1287768705615777792?s=20
Per minute?
— Katy (@bojanglies) July 27, 2020
I don't get why it has 2 kitchens
— Matthew Taylor 🔶 🇪🇺 🇺🇦 (@mat8iou) July 27, 2020
Lifeguard chair:
High
Plastic
Boring
UglyTub chair on a balcony:
Exciting
Executive
Classy pic.twitter.com/9zzpGkuYjF— Gail E Bishop 💙🌻 (@gailebishop) July 27, 2020
Why limit yourself to water?
Could go for champagne/custard [delete according to budget]— X (@TheOneException) July 27, 2020
This is exactly what I would have come up with if someone had asked me to draw my dream home at age 8.
— Jacob Parakilas (@Jparakilas) July 27, 2020
Incredible intel, every detail just gets weirder
— Alice Beverton-Palmer (@alicebevpalm) July 27, 2020
Honestly, I could spend hours on this thread. But you get the idea. Absolutely goddamn bizarre. Never change, London. Never change.
Feast your eyes on the full nightmare on Zoopla here.