There are two important responses to this pandemic: the medical response, and the Twitter response.
Has there ever been a moment in human history when Twitter wasn’t there to unleash a wave of hot takes? I’m struggling to remember, to be honest, and unsurprisingly with the coronavirus pandemic on everyone’s minds, Twitter has blown up with a range of witty, daft, and downright weird responses.
See also: 15 pictures of London looking eerily empty.
We’d never lose sight of the fact that this is a serious virus that’s exacting a tragic toll, and we must do everything in our power to help contain the spread – so please read this at home with immaculately washed hands. Still, we could all do with a little levity right now, so enjoy our roundup of the best Twitter responses to the coronavirus outbreak.
These Twitter responses have unfolded in waves, cresting at simply the right moment. First, there was the befuddlement at trying to wrap one’s head around the reality of a pandemic. There’s no right way to go about this, really.
COVID spelt backwards is DIVOC and what DIVOC going on
— Ravaska Rampersad (@ravaskar) March 12, 2020
is quarantine not those little oranges?
— cark?? (@carkgirl) March 17, 2020
It’s so confusing having the sense of hopeful optimism that comes with the beginning of spring alongside a global pandemic. Can’t decide if I wanna go drink a pina colada on a rooftop bar or lock myself in a cupboard
— James Greig (@jamesdgreig) March 12, 2020
Movies lied about how the fall of civilisation would happen. They promised zombies and car chases with trucks covered in spikes but really its just working from home and singing happy birthday to yourself as you wash your hands
— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) March 12, 2020
venti lattes and coffee,
ventilators and coughy
– rupi kaur
— ruby🦎 (@roobeekeane) March 22, 2020
Apparently quarantine doesn’t come with a maid. This is outrageous.
— Angela (@TheKitchenista) March 26, 2020
you, an idiot: panicking at the disco
me, an intellectual: facing this kind of thing with a sense of poise and rationality
— ⚠️maxx⚠️ (@climaxximus) March 15, 2020
Strange times for cats. First the dogs kept inside, now the humans. Must feel like they’ve won.
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) March 25, 2020
The news was once easily ignored, but now it’s everywhere and you’re hanging on every word.
positively phenomenal use of the BBC News theme tune. Little does she know this is actually how we make the news pic.twitter.com/3Zx8pw2eeM
— Sophia Smith Galer (@sophiasgaler) March 24, 2020
2019: Netflix and chill
2020: Government coronavirus press conference and cry
— Alan White (@aljwhite) March 25, 2020
Someone just shouted out ‘Boris Johnson has fucking Coronavirus’ in Morissons. That is how I found out. What a year.
— Ray Bradshaw (@comedyray) March 27, 2020
Then, as reality bites, we started to realise the gravity of the situation.
I dont like to get too vulgar in my tweets, but this whole situation is, and once again pardon my language, a real bummer
— the drake gatsby 🏠 (@DrakeGatsby) March 21, 2020
Show me a better meme…… I’m WAITING pic.twitter.com/qZgu1YuXYv
— GEORGIE (@georgiehoole) March 17, 2020
Me returning to the family home after months away to begin a coronavirus lockdown pic.twitter.com/fpAMUXfQLh
— Charlie Peters (@CDP1882) March 18, 2020
April fool’s cancelled this year cause aint shit funny
— almond tits (@_ayannaE) March 25, 2020
Clearly, it was way past time to get organised. First stop is naturally the supermarket, for whatever supplies were left.
Day 1: I have stocked up on enough non-perishable food and supplies to last me for months, maybe years, so that I can remain in isolation for as long as it takes to see out this pandemic
Day 1 + 45 minutes: I am in the supermarket because I wanted a Twix
— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) March 12, 2020
Bounty lovers laughing at the rest of the world. 🍫 pic.twitter.com/naeM2KZwS4
— Mr S (@steviestallard) March 21, 2020
I’ve done it. I’ve bought the last tin on the shelf. No label. The mystery tin. What do we think is in it? Place your bets now, this is the most excitement we can have right now pic.twitter.com/JC5x1lyGRC
— Daisy Jackson (@daisyejackson) March 24, 2020
(Wait for it…)
— Daisy Jackson (@daisyejackson) March 25, 2020
Ordered Amazon Delivery and selected “replace item” with the closest thing they can find if they run out of stock…
We ordered tampons.
And they sent the closest appropriate thing.
Which right now, is a bag of 50 frozen sausage rolls.
— Clare Barry (@ClareBarry) March 18, 2020
Me hiding in Tesco to be first in line for pasta pic.twitter.com/YLUWtz5JpO
— Fur-quarantine Akhtar (@furquan) March 22, 2020
On the way to Asda for some non essential snacks pic.twitter.com/nUsCZ1l2st
— James Cantrill (@JamesCantrill) March 23, 2020
Lockdown also invites us to enter the brave new world: the kitchen. Dare you cook, or simply retreat to the warm embrace of a takeaway?
Me: I might take this time in lockdown to learn some new recipes and brush up on my cooking.
Also me: pic.twitter.com/KGzjTXR4NK
— Jayne Sharp (@Jaynesharp) March 25, 2020
I know some of you are in isolation and new to cooking so here are my two tips from the last 25 years:
– that’s enough rice
– that’s not enough garlic
— Meredith Ireland (@MeredithIreland) March 22, 2020
— Liam Fallon (@LiamCFallon) March 23, 2020
the mealtimes now are:
— alanna (@alanna) March 26, 2020
of course pic.twitter.com/a3C2znboh0
— shakshuka o’neal (@shakshukaoneal) March 18, 2020
me ordering delivery in February:
me ordering delivery now:
-singlehandedly keeping every small business afloat
-Nobel Prize in Economics
— Paul McCallion (@OrangePaulp) March 19, 2020
I won’t lie, this will test my willpower… pic.twitter.com/kyC6Ti8US9
— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) March 27, 2020
(There are drawbacks to such a plan, however)
Please, God, someone do a sport so my boyfriend will stop talking about his sourdough starter
— Olga Khazan (@olgakhazan) March 26, 2020
Speaking of brave new worlds, most of us are having to make the terrifying shift to working from home, which requires – nay, demands – a whole new mindset.
My quarantine routine:
7 AM: (wake me up)
8 AM: wake me up inside
9 AM: (I can’t wake up)
3 PM: wake me up inside
4 PM: (SAAAAVE ME)
5 PM: CALL MY NAME AND SAAAAVE ME FROM THE DARK
6 PM: Pesto pasta, again
— GOOKO (@G00K0) March 20, 2020
[day 7 of quarantine]
∧_∧ oh no
( ･ω･) im late for work
— Kayleecious🍧 (@TweetsByKaylee) March 22, 2020
very apparent now that the best thing about meeting up with people in person was not having to look at your own face while you did it
— Imogen West-Knights (@ImogenWK) March 20, 2020
how everyday feels pic.twitter.com/elJephfeI5
— Z (@zahraloum) March 24, 2020
When you work from home and your manager wants a word with you pic.twitter.com/XyapLRa5S7
— Persephone 🏳️🌈🏴 (@Hughes87n) March 25, 2020
Just constructed a standing desk out of books and then whispered “here I am, at the content counter, ready to serve content” to myself…….. how’s working from home going for you guys
— Zing Tsjeng (@misszing) March 19, 2020
Me getting up at 8:59am for the big commute to work to the spare room and the 9am start pic.twitter.com/A53ewhjloA
— Ryan (@ryan3levis) March 23, 2020
Emails now be like: I hope you are staying safe, sheltered in place, stocked with toilet paper, and healthy during these absolutely unprecedented, wild, chaotic, terrifying times. Just wanted to follow up-
— open your purse (@_chismosa_) March 26, 2020
Naturally, if you live in London and are under the age of 35, now is about the right moment to start endlessly regretting your choice of accommodation.
imagine having a house right now. imagine being able to go … “”upstairs””
— Lex Croucher (@lexcanroar) March 24, 2020
There’s nothing quite like paying insanely high rent for the privilege of being near all the things you’re not allowed to do
— Holly Brockwell (@holly) March 26, 2020
when people go “home to be with family” for lockdown and post photos of their garden pic.twitter.com/y9at6JQo9r
— Tara O’Reilly (@tarajaneoreilly) March 25, 2020
In fact, it’s prime time to regret all the things you don’t have.
Lockdown status: Absolutely fucking furious that other people have dogs right now
— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) March 24, 2020
However, self-isolation presents a golden opportunity to discover new things about yourself.
i keep subtitles on cuz sometimes i just be snackin to loud
— Bri 🌻 (@notyourbrook) March 24, 2020
after spending a solid two weeks with no one but myself I’m starting to narrow down the source of many of my problems and you’re not going to believe this—
— JP (@jpbrammer) March 25, 2020
Your quarantine nickname is how you feel right now + the last thing you ate out of the cupboard”
You can call me “angry chili mango”
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) March 20, 2020
Nah everyone is a different level of bored https://t.co/DeCj6qdaTL
— ً (@Kashaveli_) March 25, 2020
how lads think their isolation head shave will look vs how it turns out pic.twitter.com/eWpRkYIWRx
— joe (@jxeker) March 26, 2020
And of course, begin a journey of self-improvement.
Fuck sake just took my nan some food but forgot to film myself handing it to her, what a waste of time
— Jake Harvey (@JakeHarvey95) March 25, 2020
you: today I went on an isolated 5 mile jog, baked a loaf of bread, taught myself portuguese, and read a novel before playing a board game with my loved ones. how about you?
me [brushing whole m&ms out of my bed]: same
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) March 22, 2020
Day 5 of self isolation pic.twitter.com/01zf3oQbSu
— Scottish Patter (@ScottishPatterr) March 22, 2020
Still, with the outside world lying just beyond the window, it’s tempting to try and make a reasonable facsimile of it indoors.
Our Easter holiday to Centreparcs has been cancelled so we’re recreating it at home by having the kids ride their bikes in the garden while I burn £20 notes
— joe heenan (@joeheenan) March 24, 2020
5yo: “when I have lunch at school, there is always a dessert. I want to check that you know that.”
— Katherine (@whatKatydidnext) March 23, 2020
Remember, no matter how mad you are about not being able to leave the house, you’ll never be ‘mayor of a small Italian town in lockdown mad’:
“I stopped him and said, ‘Look, this isn’t a movie. You are not Will Smith in I Am Legend. Go home.”
This is the updated compilation of Italian Mayors losing it at people violating #Covid19 quarantine. Yes, subtitles are accurate. pic.twitter.com/60V4Csuonb
— 🌈 (@protectheflames) March 22, 2020
Similarly, your level of paranoia can never match that of a relative in a WhatsApp group. We simply must stan…
My mum has put an onion in the corner of every room in the house because whatsapp advised her to. This is the peak of the whatsapp mother’s cult. I am unable to can lmao pic.twitter.com/KF894u0aHt
— ayylmao (@temmyoseni73) March 23, 2020
my 75 year old dad is addicted to fwding rumours on Whatsapp about Coronavirus like a 13 year old girl in 2001 who can’t stop sending ghost story chain emails to 15 friends to avoid being haunted.
— Dolly H Alderton (@dollyalderton) March 18, 2020
My mum has a PhD on Corona Virus from WhatsApp University
— b (@brownandboujiee) March 23, 2020
Come look at what my mum sent on WhatsApp gc, I’m tried pic.twitter.com/DJHNef7fMU
— Jmz 🇲🇼 (@JmzorJamz) March 24, 2020
Your chosen lockdown companions, meanwhile, may provide some surprising revelations.
A funny thing about quarantining is hearing your partner in full work mode for the first time. Like, I’m married to a “let’s circle back” guy — who knew?
— Laura Norkin (@inLaurasWords) March 19, 2020
me and me dad are sharing the dining room table working from home today. He’s an aerospace engineer on a conference call ordering fuselage prototypes and I’m drawing a duck
— lydia 🍃 (@lydiakahill) March 19, 2020
My husband and I are both working from home and he’s just sent round a memo about a total ban on office relationships.
— Laura Lexx (@lauralexx) March 19, 2020
A side effect of social distancing: it looks like everyone on daytime TV has had a massive row with each other. pic.twitter.com/AMwoEY8zU5
— Scott Reid 🔍 (@scottreid1980) March 26, 2020
my boyfriend has been wearing sweats so much he has started calling normal pants… “hard pants”
— David Mack (@davidmackau) March 26, 2020
There’s always a way to cope with this, I promise.
Pro-tip for couples suddenly working from home together: Get yourselves an imaginary coworker to blame things on. In our apartment, Cheryl keeps leaving her dirty water cups all over the place and we really don’t know what to do about her.
— Molly Tolsky (@mollytolsky) March 16, 2020
oh nowwww everyone wanna know what introverts do for fun
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) March 13, 2020
Day 3 of self isolation. pic.twitter.com/FPtLIFViJY
— GHANA’S FINEST (@Ghanasfinestx) March 17, 2020
(And sometimes it can force you to make new connections)
My Grandma who is in isolation accidentally dialled a wrong phone number yesterday and spoke to a random lady also isolating for 20 minutes about her life. They’ve exchanged numbers so they can keep in contact and meet up once this is all over and I just think that’s lovely
— Amelia Landon (@LandonAmelia) March 24, 2020
Week one of self isolation, made friends with the neighbours we have never spoken to before: pic.twitter.com/HZUZLn6aha
— b.b (@benoobrown) March 25, 2020
Single man with toilet rolls would like to meet a girl with hand sanitizer for some good clean fun.
— Anthony Lock – Never Give Up… Never Give In… (@BrokenByWar) March 24, 2020
Perhaps a song might help you get through all this?
cleans like Gaston
quarantines like Gaston
no one stops spreading COVID-19 like Gaston
— Revolver Volcelot (@costaggini) March 22, 2020
I’m coming out of my cage
That’s a £30 fine
— Jonny Sharples (@JonnyGabriel) March 24, 2020
The videos of Italians singing on their balconies in lockdown is so beautiful. I PRAY it doesn’t get to that here because I cannot take English people singing Mr Brightside from their front porches 🥴🤢
— todd (@todd_j_cooper) March 14, 2020
I’ve lost my mind.
I wrote Coronavirus Rhapsody:
Is this a sore throat?
Is this just allergies?
Caught in a lockdown
No escape from reality.
— Dana Jay Bein (#DJB) #CoronavirusRhapsody (@danajaybein) March 18, 2020
Day 541 in lockdown we’ll all be doing this. https://t.co/ZT13bT5LFd
— Almara Abgarian (@almaraabgarian) March 26, 2020
There’s one man who won’t be singing during this time, though…
During lockdown, while many other artists are doing mini-concerts from their homes, I thought I’d do you all a favour and not.
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) March 25, 2020
Lockdown teaches us many things, but perhaps the most important lesson is to value one’s freedom.
— Oldfirmfacts (@Oldfirmfacts1) March 23, 2020
Me waving at my local policeman before I put a wig on and go out for my second run of the day pic.twitter.com/cjLd4avtpK
— jack rem x (@jackremmington) March 23, 2020
Now I know why dogs get so excited to go for walks
— JORDAN DAKOTA (@jordandnixon) March 24, 2020
me getting dressed up to go stand outside for a few minutes and then go back inside pic.twitter.com/tCtm5OAael
— son of mr. bean (@patcoolandnice) March 27, 2020
uk government: you can only go for one walk per day
the proclaimers: fuck yes
— 🍸 (@oscarewilde) March 24, 2020
Why your second walk of the day feels so good: pic.twitter.com/ix7DDe2HTy
— Craig Mac Ádaidh (@Craigadd) March 24, 2020
When police catch you on your second jog of the day pic.twitter.com/FXRDHQRLM0
— TINO (@_9tino) March 23, 2020
(Or not, as the case may be)
Anyone who wants to exercise more than once a day can have one of mine if they want.
— Daniel Glyn (@DanielGlyn) March 23, 2020
Meanwhile, the streets are empty, and nature is healing.
never seen the streets so empty, this quarantine crazy pic.twitter.com/PI01ubHvM2
— simpy (@AMABOUTOBUST) March 25, 2020
social distancing is really helping Blackpool recover from pollution the oceans are clear and wildlife is returning pic.twitter.com/LG6Fp9Xwz1
— Joe (@Joesnotcool) March 19, 2020
Amazing to see the wildlife returning to London now everybody is staying at home! pic.twitter.com/KXX9dqzAdr
— will jennings (@willjennings80) March 21, 2020
But you’ve got bigger things on your mind – chief amongst them the ability to make money from the government’s new fines.
me: i’d never snitch
police: we’ll give you £150 for the names of anyone you see breaking lockdown laws
— joe (@jxeker) March 24, 2020
£150 for reporting people outside?? I’m sending my siblings shops and calling the police
— a1 (@a1amnss) March 24, 2020
Just saw a very sweet slice of quarantine life. Two young lovers in jogging gear in Springfield Park, clearly pretending to be doing their exercise for the day so they could steal a moment together. Not ashamed to say I had a slight catch in my throat as I called the police.
— Séamas It Ever Was (@shockproofbeats) March 25, 2020
Or soaking up the applause for your hard work.
Just put the bin out and the whole street applauded. Best day of my life.
— John Rain CBE (@MrKenShabby) March 26, 2020
Just tucked into my second Creme Egg of the day and the whole street immediately burst into applause. Thanks London, I needed this!
— Francisco Garcia (@Ffranciscodgf) March 26, 2020
Me taking the bins out at 8pm pic.twitter.com/PdaSJFgp1X
— charles (@charIiefs) March 26, 2020
If you’re going to go stir crazy – and face it, we all are – please do it in the most creative way possible.
how many years have you aged in the past week? my hair is streaked with white. I can commune with trees. the village children tell stories about me. I will crumble to dust if touched.
— The Library Owl 🧙♀️🦉📚 (@SketchesbyBoze) March 25, 2020
Quarantine day 11:
— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) March 22, 2020
— Chris Dixon (@chrismd10) March 24, 2020
(Well worth watching until the end, that one)
Last night Corona led me down a YouTube rabbit hole and I ended up watching a video of an Australian cheese maker making parmesan. He starts his videos by saying “g’day curd nerds” and all the comments are Italians telling him to go fuck himself
— Joe (@josephcorcoran) March 16, 2020
So our wedding has been postponed for obvious reasons and we had 115 chocolate Lindt bunnies as wedding favours – time for a bunny wedding of course! #CoronavirusLockdown #lindt #COVID19 #wedding pic.twitter.com/wELsXWS6Lc
— Mark in Bangkok (@thaispicytravel) March 25, 2020
“How’s nationwide self-quarantine going?” pic.twitter.com/oP7sdQiUPA
— Tom Brady Stan Account (@MatthewFoldi) March 14, 2020
Don’t go too crazy, mind you.
I know this time of self isolation is hard and scary for people but however bad you are feeling- please, please don’t consider starting your own podcast
Straight men under the age of 35 are particularly vulnerable to this and we all need to be vigilant of the dangers x
— Nicola Coughlan (@nicolacoughlan) March 16, 2020
Because after all, we’ll get through it together, and then won’t life be grand?
One day this is going to be over- can you imagine that day? How we’ll come out into the sun and laugh and hug and sing and dance and hold hands? I’m living for that day. It’ll be like nothing we’ve experienced before.
— Glennon Doyle (@GlennonDoyle) March 18, 2020
Stay safe, stay home, and do stay hilarious because it’s giving us life right now!
Also published on Medium.