There are certain phrases that are stop-you-in-your-tracks-terrifying for any Londoner to hear at the best of times (we’re talking ‘…severe delays across all lines’ sort of terrifying). But at Christmas? In December? When stress (and booze) levels are high as it is, there are some phrases that can just TIP YOU OVER THE EDGE. Sorry. But did we just hear someone utter the words “there’s no mulled wine”?! ?? Nightmarish.
Like nails down a chalkboard for Londoners at Christmas…
1. ‘We’re having a Christmas party at ours… in zone 5.’
2. ‘That’s all of my Christmas shopping done and dusted. How’s yours going?’
3. ‘We’re just going to ho-ho-hold the train at Oxford Circus for a while’.
4. ‘Sooo, any kisses under the mistletoe for you this year?’
5. ‘I know there was a Secret Santa price limit, but…’
6. ‘We can’t get gifts from the big Topshop on Oxford Street anymore.’
Gone but not forgotten, sweet prince.
7. ‘Can’t wait to spend my massive Christmas bonus.’
8. ‘The theme for this year’s office Christmas party is Love Island Winter Wonderland.‘
9. ‘And there will be karaoke.’
10. ‘No New Year’s Eve plans?’
11. ‘Now you do! I’ll send you the link!’ *internally screams in bank balance*
12. ‘There’s currently an hour wait for the bar for mulled wine.’
That was my only hope.
13. ‘It’s going to be a white Christmas.’
When was the last time London enjoyed a White Christmas on December 25?
14. ‘It’s not going to be a white Christmas.’
15. ‘I’ve signed us both up for the Hyde Park Christmas Day swim!’
16. ‘We’ll be leaving London in the New Year.’
17. ‘I didn’t eat all of my chocolate advent calendar in one sitting.’
How does one eat just one each day?
18. ‘I bet a nice warm hug will get you in the festive spirit…’
19. ‘I don’t like spending Christmas in London’.
*sighs in just heard an awful opinion*
20. ‘London is the best city in the world to spend Christmas.’
Yeah, this one doesn’t annoy us. We just thought we’d reiterate the correct opinion to hold.
21. ‘I’ve prepared a dance routine for us to perform at the Christmas party.’
Okay, now we’re annoyed again. That didn’t take long. But we love you Christmas, honest! Especially Christmas in London aka the best city in the world.