While most of London’s hospitality venues pride themselves on creating warm and welcoming environments, one East London store is downright dangerous to visit. If you’re a human, that is. We’re talking, of course, about the legendary Hoxton Street Monster Suppliers – a store for witches, werewolves, and everything in between. And while humans are allowed in, they promise that you’ll receive “service with a snarl”.
Selling “Bespoke and Everyday items for the Living, Dead, and Undead”, Hoxton Street Monster Suppliers sells products you won’t find anywhere else. Have a look at our visit to the store below:
On sale at Hoxton Street Monster Supplies
This madcap store sells a variety of goods for mummies, little monsters, ogres, and more. You’ll find everything from Cockroach Soap to Cubed Earwax (“the finest earwax available, made the traditional way”) on sale. Other goods available for purchase include:
- Thickest Human Snot
- Tinned Fear: Escalating Panic
- Skull Bookends
- Toasted Bone Chunks
- Werewolf Biscuits
As part of an ongoing attempt from the shop’s victims volunteers to strengthen relationships between humans and monsters, they also sell letter-writing packs. Purchase one and you’ll be able to write a letter to Vlad the Vampire, Pudding the Gremlin and other friendly (ish) monsters. And in four weeks, you’ll even receive a reply!
Wait, what’s going on?
Okay, fine, we’ll break character briefly to let you know what’s really going on over at Hoxton Street Monster Supplies. It’s actually a wonderful themed store that raises money for the Ministry of Stories – a creative writing charity. The creative goods are actually amusingly shaped candies and foodstuffs, as well as candles, books, and more. As well as providing extra funding for the charity, they provide a jumping-off point for children to explore their imagination.
As Hoxton Street Monster Supplies explains: “Due to a rather inconvenient curse, all profits go to the Ministry of Stories, a creative writing and mentoring charity for young humans.”
So, not only will you find a wild and wonderful array of products and gifts, you’ll know that your purchases are helping foster young people’s imagination and creativity. That means you might be helping the next great novelist!
Image: @monstersupplies, via IG
The store’s charm doesn’t stop at its physical presence. The experience spreads to the website, too. Online, the character of the store oozes out in all aspects of the shopping experience. Instead of a ‘shopping basket’, there’s a ‘casket’ and the website is conveniently “automatically translated for humans”. However, it’s also available in languages fit for Mummies, Vampire Bats, Werewolves, and Zombies.
Said Colin Firth, Ministry of Stories supporter, and Minister for Fluency:
“When you buy one of their tins of fear, or jars of brain jam, you don’t just get a great stocking filler or something to liven up your breakfast table, you know that you’re helping to support the business of the imagination with the next generation.”
The shop relies on fearless volunteers to keep it running, and they’re always on the lookout for friendly new faces. So, go ahead and take a peek inside. Enter at your own risk – but remember it’s all for a good cause.