You trusted it, and it LIED TO YOU.
How often do you examine TfL’s official map of the Underground? Probably not as often as me, but it’s ok – I’ve done the examining for you. Now we know that the tube map is just an interpretation of London and is created less to be geographically accurate and more to ensure maximum clarity when traveling around.* Nevertheless, when we delved deeper, we were mind-blown to discover the differences between the tube map and the actual locations of the stations. Using a secret map that was created by TfL and unleashed onto the internet over a year ago, we’ve highlighted a few major issue areas. Be prepared for the world as you know it to be thrown into a deep, dark vortex of confusion. Trust no one.
*Seriously, we know that the tube map is a representation to help our poor Underground-frazzled brains. We love the tube map. There’s no denying its genius. This is for pure ‘fun’.
1. Stockwell to Vauxhall
So, it looks like Vauxhall lies north-west of Stockwell…
But NO! It’s just north. You’re travelling north this whole time and you didn’t even know it.
2. The Mess of Mornington Crescent
The Official Underground map illustrates Mornington Crescent on the westerly positioned branch of the Northern line.
But it’s on the east. Mind. Blown. The Northern Line makes even less sense.
3. Blackfriars to Monument on the District and Circle lines.
TfL may want you to believe you’re moving in a north-easterly direction, along with the river Thames…
But you’re actually heading slightly south. As is the Thames. Is there nothing in this world we can rely on?
4. North Acton to West Ruislip
It’s easy to think you’re moving in a mainly northerly direction at this point on the Central Line…
But you’re actually moving in a pretty westerly direction and there is categorically no sharp bend in that track.
5. Warwick Avenue to Paddington
Yep, TfL, looks like Warwick Avenue and Paddington are level with each other on the Bakerloo line.
But no. Paddington is very much south of Warwick Avenue.
6. Paddington to Notting Hill Gate
Soooo, you’re telling us that Notting Hill Gate is south of Paddington?
But it ain’t. It’s south west. Paddington, why you lie?
7. Shepherd’s Bush to White City
A fairly straightforward stop between White City and Shepherd’s Bush, you say?
Nuh-uh! It’s full of bends and curves and wrong locations. We’re going to sit in a dark corner and contemplate the reality of our existence now.
For the full geographically accurate London connections map, see here.