Last night, the clocks went forward to mark the start of Daylight Saving Time, or British Summer Time.
We’ve all woken up in a synchronised state of confusion — and for once it’s not just about Brexit. No, the question on everyone’s lips this morning is “What the mothering cluck is the time?”
Your entire day is about to get confusing, folks — but it’s arguably for a good cause. After all, we’d rather have an extra hour of sunshine in the evening than in the morning, wouldn’t we? Think of the extra time you can spend in London’s abundant beer gardens…
That’s the positive side to this logistical nightmare, of course. On the other hand, here are some of the struggles you’re bound to face:
1. You’ll wake up, look at the time and feel instantly confused.
2. You’ll either be fooled into thinking you’ve had a nice lie-in, or it’ll occur to you that the clocks went forward, and you’ll curse the fact that you’ve lost an hour of sleep.
3. You’ll assume your phone updated the time automatically, but there’s always that small bit of doubt.
4. You consider changing it manually, but then realise that you have no idea what the f*cking time is.
5. Which way did they go again? What does that even mean? Did I lose or gain sleep? How does “forward” even work? *Uses hands to mimic a clockwise movement*
6. You’ll check every clock in the house, including the one on the oven… but that’s said the wrong time for years, so you don’t know what to believe anymore.
7. You might scour Twitter to see what the general consensus is, but you’ll soon discover that everyone is just as lost as you are.
— Eoin Kavanagh (@EoinyPony93) 29 March 2015
9. You might Google the purpose of the whole thing, just to try and make some sense of it — but you’ll be left even more confused than you were initially.
10. Inevitably, you spend the whole day completely out of sync. God help you if you have any timed appointments to get to today.
11. You remember that you don’t have any food in, so need to pop to the shop. But it’s a Sunday at 4pm (or at least you think it is), so will it even be open?!
12. You might attempt to change the clocks around the house — ignoring the oven of course — but that inevitably ends in tears…
12. …especially if you have a car.
13. You give up and decide to live in permanent disarray. At least until the clocks go back again in October.
14. It’ll get to 7pm and you’ll be both baffled and delighted by the daylight that has stuck around.
15. And then you’ll lie in bed wide awake at 1am, knowing that you have to drag your miserable ass back to work tomorrow.
16. After a short sulk, you’ll remind yourself that this means MORE! SUN! and you’ll drift swiftly off to sleep dreaming of ice cold, post-work ciders…