We’ve been doing Christmas wrong all these years.
Yes, you did read that correctly: it is a Charcuterie Chalet, and it is officially A Thing. Personally, I would never have thought to turn my chorizo, saucisson, and more into a house of smoked meats, but then apparently I don’t spend enough time on food Instagram, the dark corner of the Internet which birthed the Charcuterie Chalet. (Presumably, ‘The Meat Hut’ was too open to misinterpretation…).
Making its first appearance on the interwebs last Christmas, the Charcuterie Chalet trend is taking off in earnest this winter, and I can’t help but wonder if a year in which words such as “normal” began to lose all meaning has provided fertile soil for this bizarre creation.
The idea behind the Charcuterie Chalet is a simple, yet radical one. A marriage between a gingerbread house and a charcuterie board, all it took was one meat-loving prophet to combine the two and usher in a whole new world of Christmas snacking. There don’t appear to be any hard and fast rules to constructing this year’s Christmas treat, with any variety of lunch meats proving fair game, and breadsticks and crackers often roped in for use as walls and ceilings. The majority of builders have taken to frosting the roof with cream cheese (in lieu of snow), but I’d wager following your imagination is more important than following a recipe book.
For instance, this unhinged genius has decided to sit theirs on a 1kg wheel of brie, as if daring the gods themselves to descend and snack upon its delicious foundations.
Be warned though: crafting the Charcuterie Chalet is fraught with peril. One Instagram user, boldly forging their own path, reported that “the roof caved in under the weight of the mortadella” – tragic, yes, but an undeniably delicious way for the chalet’s inhabitants to perish.
Whatever the dangers of The House That Pork Built, it appears to be a lightning-in-a-bottle tradition that’s taking the kitchen by storm. Forget Hot Girl Summer – it’s all about Charcuterie Chalet Christmas now…
Speaking of houses made of cheese, have you heard that a double decker cheese barge has floated into London?
Also published on Medium.