If you’re anything like us and tend to put the ‘i’ in ‘single’ (*laugh-cry-laugh-cry-laugh-cry*) this coming weekend may spark a, err, certain ‘mix’ of emotions, shall we say? And while we don’t want to sound like a bunch of scorned cat ladies hating on anything and everything remotely feeling/romance-related (which we most definitely are not……?) there are some pretttty awesome reasons why being single in London this Valen-wasteoftime-‘s Day (lol, that’s right…) is the best.
1. You can eat chocolate instead of receive it…
2. And then feel like you can’t eat it because you’ve got to squeeze into some obscene underwear that either gives you a front and back wedgie, cuts off the blood circulation nipples down…
3. Or actually dresses you up like this…
4. To be fair, though…there is edible underwear that appears to enable both sex and eating.
5. Which at first sounds dreamy…
6. But as it turns out, is actually not at all. Or will ever be. Remotely. Sexy.
7. Granny pants can instead prevail.
8. Because you haven’t been pulled into the disillusioning capitalist consumerism drivel of ‘how to show someone you love them’, you can have a cheap weekend.
9. Or as cheap as the weekend can be in London when you spend the entirety of it drinking and eating your emotions (happy ones, obvs) at your local with your other single mates.
10. Violets are violet. Not blue. And you know that because you’re single. And not an idiot.
11. Sex is no better on February 14th than it is any other day of the year.
12. Not that we’d know. Or that we have sex any other day of the year either…but still. HA take THAT schamlentine’s.
13. You don’t have to spend your evening holding back vomit whilst travelling in a circle at a painstaking snail-pace on the London Eye. Both because it’s nausea-inducingly clichéd and you’re scared of heights.
14. You can unashamedly and highly appropriately go here for coffee…
15. You don’t have to go through any this…
16. And you certainly don’t have to spend hours trying to think of something funny, not too romantic but lets them know how much you love them and original, to write in their card, despite the fact that they pissed you off that very morning and all you want to say is ‘you’re a prick’.
17. You’ll have none of this.
18. And instead lots of this.
19. Because, this.
20. And people like this.
21. Even though right now that looks rather tempting…
22. But you don’t have a car.
23. Because, London. (You’ll be thankful one day…trust us…*ahem*)