Sometimes, you just have to throw your hands up and say “what the f*ck?”
London had its fair share of triumphs and tragedies in 2018, but some of the stuff that happened was downright odd. From to inflatable baby presidents, here are the weirdest things that happened in London this year.
1. The Museum of London displayed a chunk of concealed shit
The Whitechapel Fatberg hit the headlines when it was discovered lurking in the sewers like the malevolent lump it is. Rather that consign it to the dustbin of history, the Museum of London put it on display – and because that wasn’t fascinating enough, they elected to livestream it as it sweated, sprouted new mould, and hatched flies. Lovely.
2. Heathrow Airport auctioned off a load of plane merch
It was the garage sale to end all garage sales: signage, baggage carousels, and check-in desks all went under the hammer when Heathrow cleared out their unwanted stuff, and I’m gutted I missed it.
3. A Vauxhall townhouse went up for sale, with one very unique room
We all wish we had an extra room in the flat, but only a handful of us would admit to wanting it for this reason. One Vauxhall home went on the market this year, featuring its own sex dungeon – or, as one Secret London writer memorably put it, an “industrial strength fuck-bunker”. Hey, if you’ve got a spare £3 mil and a fair few kinks, we aren’t going to judge.
4. Oval Space held a David Attenborough themed rave
The latest trend in the discotheque world? Themed raves featuring Sir David’s dulcet tones, cardboard cutouts, and Attenborough masks. It certainly would have made for a mind-bending documentary if the man himself narrated it…
5. Londoners could bathe in red wine
It was billed as a way improve skin health, but really its just a way to look fancy whilst wasting a lot of red wine. London spa Ella Di Rocco hosted the grape bath, and we went to try it out.
6. Nandos opened a recording studio inside their Soho spot
Working on your next hot single? You may want to head to Frith Street, where the tunes are extra spicy thanks to the addition of a free recording studio – just be aware you may have an audience.
7. An inflatable baby Trump flew over London
There was no way we were leaving this one out. To honour the US president’s visit, a team of mad geniuses crowdfunded, constructed, and flew an inflatable baby shaped like Donald Trump. To say it was divisive is a wee bit of an understatement, but the pictures were fun.
8. TfL honoured the summer’s cult hero
England manager and waistcoat aficionado Gareth Southgate reached near-legendary status over the course of the World Cup, and TfL decided to reward him by renaming Southgate tube station – a well-deserved honour, in our opinion.
9. Illuminated slugs slimed all over the Tate Britain
Slimy and oddly festive, the illuminated slugs appeared quietly, but quickly became a dark horse for best Christmas illumination. Designed by artist Monster Chetwynd, they’ll be sliming away into 2019.
10. The sexy Jeff Goldblum statue we all needed finally arrived
Not that we were waiting of course – in fact, having no idea it was coming just made it even better. The 25ft paean to Dr Ian Malcolm stretched out lazily next to Tower Bridge, and we’re still not over the fact that it’s gone.
11. The Tate Modern got a floating torture puppet
Oh jeez, oh fuck, oh hell. I’d honestly forgotten this existed – with a little help from therapy and a lot of help from alcohol – and now it’s back in my brain. Jordan Wolfson’s ‘Colored Sculpture‘ is fifty shades of wrong, and even more so when it starts staring at you.
12. We got a first glimpse of the ‘Detective Pikachu’ film
Not London-specific, but for sheer what-the-fuckery, nothing beats the trailer that dropped on November 12th. 2019 will see a wise-cracking, world-weary Pikachu solving crimes in a new film, and I. Cannot. Wait.