This Gorgeous Vauxhall Townhouse Comes With Its Own Sex Dungeon

Who could live in a house like this?

We’re all into a bit of dreamy property porn – a houseboat! a castle! – but this really has us… hooked. Situated between ‘Vauxhall’s conservation area’ and ‘Vauxhall’s gay village’, this £3,000,000 palace draws influences from both, with it’s charming Georgian architecture, gorgeous conservatory, and industrial strength fuck-bunker.

Usually, you might expect a seller to downplay the dungeon for the vanilla homebuyer; perhaps by concealing a few hooks in the photos, rebranding it as a ‘studio space’, ‘wine cellar’ or ‘large area you are free to customise’ that’s ‘perfect for the hobbyist butcher.’ Not so here, where the dungeon is very much FRONT and CENTRE as the property’s USP!

At first I was quite surprised by this, until I noted it was the home of ‘UNKUT KURT’ from ‘legendary leather fetish club, The Hoist’, who, it stands to reason, probably has had quite a few people over the years saying things like ‘wow, lovely dungeon!’ and ‘crikey, I wish I had my own dungeon!’ and ‘let me know if you’re ever selling the dungeon, yeah?’

The rest of the house is not dungeon-y at all.

It’s a pity, then, that noted kinkshamers Foxtons have removed all mention of the dungeon whatseover. It has it’s own suspension pit, Foxtons! You can’t say that about a 1-bed part-buy new build in Surrey Quays!

If you’ve got a loose 3 mil and need somewhere to keep your whips and chains, check it out.

Hat tip to Joel Golby at Vice for clocking this one.