Living in London can sometimes feel like living in a board game; it’s fast moving, energetic and sometimes a little overwhelming. ‘True’ Londoners though, well, we’ve got it down to an art. Although unspoken, these dos and donts of life in London might as well come in a rule book and should be given to new players upon moving into their first London postcode.
1. Walk on the left. Stand on the right.
To employ Means Girls here…I mean it’s just like… the rules of escalators!!
2. Don’t talk to people on the tube.
No one feels like holding a conversation with a stranger squished up against their body so that every single particle of breath stench flows directly onto their face.
3. Like… ever.
I once had an American tourist sit next to me on the Circle Line and start chatting away as though it wasn’t sooo disrespectful and weird of him!!! People around me looked tense and disgusted darting looks at me while I did all I could to show that I was one of them and simply wanted out of the conversation.
4. Don’t complain about the price of drinks.
We all know it’s ridiculous. We know it’s cheaper up north. Let’s move on.
5. Don’t complain about the price of food.
6. Don’t complain about the price of cabs.
Seriously, no one’s making you live here?!
7. Okay soooo basically don’t complain about the price of anything… ok?
It’s all fucking expensive and we all fucking hate it. Are you satisfied??!
8. Avoid Oxford Street as much as humanly possible.
The same goes for Covent Garden, Leicester Square, all markets etc etc.
9. Never offer to take a photo for someone.
You’ll find yourself with 12 cameras in your hand and a queue forming behind you within 0.5 seconds.
10. Don’t smile at strangers in the street.
They’ll think you’re trying to sell them something.
11. Avoiding eye contact is good also.
It puts people on edge.
12. Have your Oyster card / ticket ready BEFORE reaching the barrier.
This ones just common sense kids.
13. Be Smart.
Simple yet true.
14. You can basically get as close as possible to the person in front of you at the doors to a busy train…
…but at no other time can you invade my private bubble.
15. Keep your cool during rush hour.
As testing as this may be.
16. Essentially… just don’t be a dick.
Or a tourist, sorry not sorry.
Feature Image: [flickr]