1. ‘I’m so jealous that you get more money with your loan!’
Yeah but somehow after one tube ride, a trip to Nandos and a round in the pub we’re suddenly working in our overdraft.
2. ‘Uni in London, impressive! Someone’s obviously clever.’
Ok so we kinda like this one but come on there are, like, 50 unis in London we don’t all go to Kings!!
3. ‘You must have tried the best restaurants.’
HA… we eat a lot of cereal. (Apart from when the parents visit and we book the best and most expensive restaurant we’ve been dying to try!)
4. ‘OMG I love London sooooo much!! I love, like, BIG BEN and errrm the Shaft… wait no the SHARD haha oops!’
Just. No.
5. ‘You have to give me a tour sometime I’m sure you know everywhere in London by now.’
Our London geography is pretty much the route between lectures and home, maybe via the pub.
6. ‘I went to Fabric last night, you have the coolest nightlife!’
Tbh, we can’t afford to always go to the big name clubs, but a pint at our local is just as cool, right?!
7. ‘Do you go on the most romantic dates?’
What do you not understand about how little money we have? It’s more like tinder on the couch and a date to Pizza Express.
8. ‘Why do you hate tourists so much?’
Ask me again when you’re running late to a 9am lecture having to punch through city maps and trip over selfie sticks.
9. ‘Why do you care so much about getting the last tube home?’
Two words: Night. Bus.
10. ‘Isn’t it sad that you don’t have a campus?’
The world is our oyster (card)… London is our campus.
11. ‘I normally just get up at 8.45 for my 9am lecture.’
*Represses the fact that we travel 45minutes on the tube at peak times just to get to lectures 10 minutes late.*
12. ‘What’s your accommodation like?’
‘Well Uncle Tim, either I have to shell out a fuck ton of money for a ‘nicer’ house or compromise on a shitter and cheaper house 100 lightyears away from where my lectures are so the decision basically causes me to wrestle with a major internal struggle every time I have to look for a new house, but thanks for asking!’
13. ‘Do you have a car at uni?’
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaha
14. ‘The stars were amazing tonight.’
There are no stars in London. (Also a great title for a Smiths song, no?)
15. ‘Can I crash at yours this weekend? London hotels are sooooo expensive.’
We know they are. Apparently we run one.
16. ‘Do you like London?’
No. We love it. And despite all the commuters, and the tourists, and the wallet hurting prices, we’re students in the best and most amazing city and we wouldn’t change it for all the cheap booze and lie ins in the world.
