There’s nothing quite like peeling 3 for 2 stickers from a stack of Groovy Chick ring binders that you will inevitably never use. Or the first good sniff of a new Tippex bottle (which we obviously never did…obviously). By now you will have seen many a snotty-nosed sprog haphazardly making their way around London, clutching armfuls of their too-big jumpers and trying not to trip over their “He’ll grow into them!” trousers. Oh you guys, enjoy it while you can…
1. School dinners.
You know what Jamie Oliver, I get it. You had to do it. Lord knows our waistlines thank you for it. But…TURKEY TWIZZLERS. That ish was the bomb. My god think about the constitutions of uni students everywhere had they not been cancelled in 2005. We’d be enjoying Twizzler Tuesdays like no other. I mean, they were only 34% turkey. But still!! We used to get Twizzlers, Smiley Faces and spaghetti hoops on occasional Fridays and I swear no meal on earth has yet to match this creation for levels of pure bliss.
2. The stationery shop.
Obviously the biggest and best highlight of going back to school was the annual “Muumuum I need a new ____” shop. Guess what, you lied! You didn’t need a new ruler! Or pens! Or the assortment of fruit themed rubbers! Or the humungous pencil case with five zips, two hidden compartments and glow in the dark writing which also came with, you guessed it, more pens!
This one does slightly depend on the type of school you attended. If you were lucky like me then assemblies were joyous occasions full of terrible off-key singing, house point competitions and the occasional Talent Show Friday. Yes you had to work your way up from sitting on the cold floor to the wooden benches but once you were there you felt so alive. Also you could throw paper balls down onto the younger years and not get caught which was cool.
Oh man. Even if you weren’t religious nativity was a joyous affair. It was basically an excuse to doss about for 2 months when you went to “rehearsal” and if you ever got a starring lead you were hot shit for the rest of the year. Or if you consistently missed out on the role of Mary because you “didn’t have the right sense of innocence” then you still got to be part of the chorus and fall asleep at the back of the hall.
5. School discos.
The mood is set, the assembly hall is decked to the nines, parents are manning the “refreshments” stand (read: Space Raiders, Dip Dabs and some squashed butterfly cakes) and the “DJ” is spinning some old school Cascada. Suddenly your best friend shoves you towards Ben from Mrs Smiths class and he shuffles about in his coolest light up Sketchers. “Um dya wanna dance?” You nod, blushing. Just as you start shaking to the Ketchup Song, the track changes.
“Baby you’re all that I want…”
6. The Parachute.
Who knew a large sheet of brightly coloured fabric with occasional stains would provide such endless joy? When the P.E. teacher wapped this out your day turned into a guaranteed 8.
7. Valentines Day.
Not the horrendous affair that it is when you’re a fully fledged adult, Valentines Day in school was when stuff went down. Gossip about who was kiss-chasing who fuelled the whole day and since you made mandatory cards in class you were bound to receive at least one “From your mystery admirer…”.
8. Raising some sort of class pet.
An absolute dream if you weren’t allowed to keep one at home, keeping a class pet bestowed an early sense of responsibility and trust from the teacher that was unparalleled in the classroom. Also being chosen to look after it over the holidays was the highest honour possible. You just had to be sure not to leave the tadpoles on the windowsill on a warm day (AN EASY MISTAKE).
9. The multiple recesses.
God what a hard hour of practising my handwriting that was. Good thing I have a 15 minute break! And another in an hour! And then it’s lunch! And then another break! And then I can go home! Gosh it is a tiring life I lead.
10. Seeing this on a Friday afternoon and feeling like all your Christmases had come at once.
Of course we don’t miss the pain of breaking in new shoes, fish stick fridays or that god-awful smell in the gym. But that’s not important.
The expressions of these back-to-schoolers sorry little faces make you want to hug/slap them. I mean we get it, everything is relative and school seems hard at the age of seven. But also no?? School is easy and fun and you shouldn’t be so ungrateful you little trolls??
What do you miss about school? Comment below or tweet us at @Secret_LDN.