Reviews Of ‘The Snowman’ That Would Make Honest Tinder Bios

Guy Parsons Guy Parsons

The Snowman Reviews

‘Goes wrong quickly, permanently, and in a spiral.’

‘Strong on paper.’

‘At least crippling alcoholism hasn’t ruined his six-pack abs.’

‘Entirely free from the leaden bounds of irony.’

‘Becomes funnier with each successive appearance.’

‘An awkward, needlessly dark mess.’

‘Unintentionally hilarious.’

‘Gives the impression of a steady hand at the wheel.’

‘Continually elusive.’

‘Should have been a success.’

‘Think ‘catatonic’ and then perk it up a notch or two.’

‘May have sinister undertones.’

‘There might be some grim pleasure.’

‘Mistakenly holds back information as long as possible.’

‘A tremendous number of pregnancies and children without readily identifiable fathers.’

‘Instantly forgettable.’

‘Only seems to be good at falling asleep outside.’

‘Slathered in a sickly purple tint.’

‘Atrociously, perhaps even impressively, stupid.’

‘Perhaps the most disinterested sex scene of the century.’

‘Humorless and self-serious and dumber than a box of rocks.’

‘Ugly and nasty, but that’s not the worst of it.’

‘So drowsy that you want to give him an IV fluid drip.’

‘Entirely impossible to understand.’

‘Don’t say I didn’t warn you.’

‘Seems to know he fucked up.’

‘Everyone’s entitled to a failure every once in a while.’

‘Staggeringly ill-conceived.’

‘Falls apart as soon as it’s erected.’

‘Leans on vague, generic class resentment.’

‘He just mopes around looking out of sorts… stops moping in time for the climax.’

‘Nothing more than a kooky creep.’

‘Missing so much basic connective tissue.’

‘Fatally uninteresting bungled slopsicle.’

‘Too absurd to ever engender discomfort.’

‘Pretty much a case of Let the Wrong One In.’

Reviews from The Playlist, LA Times, New York Times, Paste, The Telegraph, Vox, ScreenCrush, The Wrap, San Francisco Chronicle, AV Club Slant, NY Post and The Globe & Mail. Inspired by the New Yorker.

Also published on Medium.