You may have seen this adorable, gorgeously orange fox, Juniper, doing the rounds on Instagram and Youtube…
Cute, right? But, Londoners, do not be fooled. Just because this particular fox has twinkling eyes and looks like she loves you, it doesn’t mean that London foxes should be trusted. So we’re here to shatter your dreams of having a pet fox to cuddle up to at night. Not only that, but you’ll see how the ideal fox vs. the reality of the fox is also a perfect anecdote for living in London…
The Ideal: One kissable, sweet, loveable fox.
Like London, this fox lures you in with her twinkling eyes and gorgeous appearance.
The Reality: Urrrr, have you ever heard foxes having sex?!
As with certain streets of London, these foxes are loud enough to keep you up at indecent hours.
The Ideal: This fox is happy with a roof under her head.
This domesticated animal is clearly proud of her home and lives a happy, content and smug life.
The Reality: London foxes can’t afford to have a roof over their heads.
We actually have something in common with foxes – neither of us can afford London rent prices. But while they spend their time using and abusing window ledges, we have to worry about jobs and bills and rent and life.
The Ideal: A friendly human companion.
Happy enough to raid your wardrobe and let you dress them up in cute outfits.
The Reality: The only thing London foxes will be raiding is your bins.
We wouldn’t advise putting a wooly jumper on this one…
The Ideal: In London, foxes share the human capacity to wait, be orderly and polite.
Just a harmless fox waiting his turn to take out some cash to spend on some jerk chicken at Spitalfields…
The Reality: Apparently foxes can’t even stand on the bloody right.
Look at this one STANDING in the middle. Pffft. These foxes and their tube etiquette.
The Ideal: A friendly face to make you smile through the worst.
This fox seems to have an ample supply of charm to keep you going through tough London times. Bad day at work? No problem – with a cheeky wink you’ll feel better in no time.
The Reality: They’re waiting to bite you in the ass.
Bad day at work? The London fox shows no mercy and will get you while you’re down.
Optimistic London fox-lovers, we do not intend to shatter your dreams. We are merely trying to shine a realistic light on the sly creature. Like London, the fox is a wild unpredictable beast… loveable and exciting, perhaps, but not to be trusted. You’ve all been warned…