We know tourists bring in great amounts of money for our economy and yes we love how diverse and multicultural our city truly is BUT there is no denying that tourists are annoying. They’re not bad people. They’re not trying to annoy us. But they do. No one enjoys tripping over selfie sticks or elbowing the species of tortoise people walking at 2mph through Piccadilly Circus. Nonetheless – we can still admit that maaaaaaaybe tourists take a slightly unfair amount of our anger and there are SOME things more deserving of that anger than the tourists…
1. When your tube is delayed.
2. Or when you see the train pulling away just as you turn round the corner.
3. When no one offers you free samples at a food market.
4. Equally annoying when the only free samples at a food market are avocado smoothies and kale cucumber maceroons.
5. If you fell in the Thames (it happens!)
6. Being pick-pocketed.
7. Losing your phone.
8. Dropping your phone at the exact wrong moment and watching as it slips out of your hand onto the floor of the tube and then out of the open tube doors and under the train onto the tracks to be lost forever.
9. Accidentally selecting ‘Uber Pool’ instead of normal Uber and having to pick up a total stranger to share your ride.
10. Getting so drunk you forget you’re in London and jump in a black cab home costing you £45,000.
11. Spending more than £5 on a pint.
12. And then spilling said pint all over yourself.
13. Spending more than £5 replacing the pint you spilt.
14. Smiling at the flyer guy and ending up obliged to buy his mix tape.
15. Meeting anyone who describes anything about themselves as ‘ironic.’ (Ironic beard, ironic hairstyle, ironic personality).
16. When tourists… oh wait no, are we still not doing that?
Feature Image: [independent]