(Not Quite) Fifty Shades Of London Grey…

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big ben featre

We apologise if you can never look at the Gherkin in the same way after this.


1. “I know they’re not famed for their size, but there’s a considerable length on all of them,” I told an impressed Abigail.

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2. I stood there, eagerly waiting for 3 minutes, thinking of another gap I wouldn’t mind.

[Flickr Kristian Dye]


3. “What lies behind this door”, the voice overhead announced, “is a mixture of pleasure and pain. But mostly pain.” I shuddered.

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4. I wanted to dive right in, but I didn’t know what I’d catch…

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5. “Take me on a ride. Right here. Right now.” I told him.


6. My inner goddess was desperate to get out from behind the fence and take all of you in.

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7. Now I know why they call you Big. And it’s not just after your bell.


8. I bit my lip when I saw those sexy, irresistible curves.


9. I’ll be here, waiting for you to open up for me. 

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10. Baby, you’re always so wet.

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11. I smirked. “The things we can do,” I said, “When I have you all to myself…”


12. “Sometimes, when I’m riding you, I think it’s never going to end.”

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13. “I can make a sinner out of a Saint”, I purred to Paul.


14. “Be careful,” Abigail warned, “I’ve heard that all of London’s birds have had a splash around in that…”

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15. I resisted the urge to thrust us both onto the seat – there was a pregnant woman present. 


16. “I have a taste for the old and young. It’s a good job I get both.”

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17. They said he was the biggest. Oh boy, they didn’t lie.


18. … Just the tip. It’s all anyone can take (a picture of).

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19. And then, he finally showed me his…



I think that’s quite enough. If we got to 50, you’d never be able to get on the Jubilee line again.

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