In honour of World Book Day, we consider what our friends from the Hundred Acre Wood would be like as Londoners…
Eeyore is a reluctant member of the Transport for London Customer Services Team. He can be found on the early morning shift gloomily announcing minor delays on the Northern Line and telling people to stand behind the yellow line.
“Good morning, Pooh Bear,” said Eeyore gloomily. “If it is a good morning,” he said. “Which I doubt.”
Kanga and Baby Roo
The original Yummy Mummy and her cheeky tot can often be found on The King’s Road, fresh out of a Bikram Yoga class and about to head home for an impromptu baking session. Always together and always fabulous.
Kanga “Oh,no, no, no, no, no. [holds up Roo] I’m with child.”
Roo “Send the pig!”
Piglet is a Vegan. His diet consists mainly of acorns and he will never do anything to harm anyone. He wears fun, stripy, ethical clothing and squeals when startled.
“Piglet noticed that even though he had a very small heart, it could hold a rather large amount of gratitude.”
The aficionado of the London rave scene, Tigger was thrilled at the re-opening of Fabric and hasn’t been spotted in the daylight hours of a weekend since 2010.
“Well, I gotta go now. I’ve got a lotta bouncin’ to do! Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! T-T-F-N: ta-ta for now!”
Rabbit is a South-London thoroughbred who always knows what’s going on and whether it’s worth going to. He has a great many friends and relations in Morden.
“And all Rabbit’s friends-and-relations spread themselves about on the grass, and waited hopefully in case anybody spoke to them, or dropped anything, or asked them the time.”
Owl is the anti-hipster. A slightly bitter has-been who refuses to drink out of jam jars but is extremely generous with advice.
“My dear Pooh,” said Owl in his superior way, “don’t you know what an Ambush is?”
Who is Christopher Robin? Where do you know his name from? Ah yes, the guy that always likes your Facebook posts but doesn’t exist to you in reality.
“…But what I like doing best is Nothing.”
Pooh’s too nice for London. You’ll find him in the Cotswolds.
“Some people care too much. I think it’s called love.”
(Feature Image: Winnie-the-Pooh and the Royal Birthday/Mark Burgess)