Google – the answer to all our queries, particularly those that are too embarrassing to ask out loud. And it seems that London and its inhabitants cause users of the World Wide Web some serious concern. When it comes to the most common searches on London and Londoners, the general direction of thought is a little bizarre, mildly offensive and somewhat hilarious. Here’s a selection of our favourite findings…
1. Why are Londoners so pretentious?
So vicious I nearly choked on my whipped egg white chai tofu latte!!
2. Why are Londoners so unfriendly?
We’re not unfriendly, but sorry WOULD YOU STAND ON THE FUCKING RIGHT PLEASE!?!!?!?
3. Do Londoners hate tourists?
I mean, ‘hate’ is a strong word…
4. Do Londoners wear jeans/leggings?
Actually no, we wear nothing but a Union Jack flag dragged around our backsides.
5. Do Londoners use umbrellas?
No. We’re a resilient bunch who actually prefer to cool off in the rain.
6. Why is London so expensive?
This is a question we often find ourselves whispering into our reflections floating in our £7 pint of Carling
7. Why do Londoners think they are better?
Better than who? (But probably true)
8. Why do Londoners hate Northerners?
It’s probably something to do with their access to affordable housing and £2.50 doubles.
9. How do Londoners pronounce Marylebone?
Mar-le-bone. You’re welcome.
10. How do Londoners say hello?
Blimey! Wotcher guv. Nuff said, yea?
11. Where in London does Bridget Jones live?
In a make-believe land where a PA can afford a plush apartment right next to Borough Market.
12. Why do Londoners have bad teeth?
Nothing but a hateful stereotype! I for one am always sure to brush my teeth at least twice a week!!
13. Where is London’s red light district?
I beg your pardon!?