Donald’s Big Day Out In London: 10 Places We Would Take Trump

Donald Trump’s state visit to the capital, as imagined by Secret London…


1. First stop Madame Tussaud’s

So the Donald can meet the Donald and inspect the quality of yak hair that went in to making his locks.


2. Next up breakfast at Tiffany’s

Picking up Michelle’s next birthday present from the flagship store on Old Bond Street.


3. Before a quick trip up the Ginger Line (Overground)

Definitely not overstepping the yellow line.


4. And a spot of Scottish golf at Wimbledon

Just a bit of bother with the Wombles clearing up the Common.


5. Before heading for a curry on Brick Lane

trump london
[Matt Whitby via Wikimedia Commons]
Getting some luchi at Ruchi.


6.  Then a little post-lunch drive by Parliament to check on the Brexit march

The Donald loves the Brexit.


7. A quick climb up the Wall of Genitals 
genital wall
[Bompas and Parr]

The only place to grab pussy in London.


8. Before rolling out the red carpet for tea at The Ritz


Nice decor. Gold decor. The best decor.


9. Leaving just enough time to top up the tan at Browns Hotel


Peel me like one of your oranges.


10. Before retiring to his quarters in the Tower of London

From one Trump Tower to another.


trump state visit london
[@jwgbeech via twitter]
(Feature Image: Gage Skidmore via Wikimedia Commons/ Bompas And Parr)

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