49 Steps To A Hot Date, According To Random Louis Theroux Screenshots

Guy Parsons Guy Parsons

It's Just That You Know I Fear People Louis Theroux

You are but a mere human, while Louis Theroux is something so much more. Thanks to the No Context Louis pages on Twitter and Facebook, we’ve brought all his insight into modern-day romance into one handy guide.

1) Are you feeling sexy and ready to rock, friend?

I'm A Weird Looking Guy Louis

2) It’s time to ditch that negative self-talk!

Who's Been Telling You

3) You can do this! Get yourself correct.

Kind Of Brooding Sexy Yes

4) That’s better! OK, It’s time for your date. Try not to feel nervous!

It's Just That You Know I Fear People Louis Theroux

5) You can even try and turn those nerves into a positive!

In A Way Do You Enjoy My Nervousness A Bit

6) Remember one thing.

Beginning is the hardest

7) Yes, it’ll start out with painful small talk.

I Am A Big Fan Of Keanu Reeves

8) Desperately trying to find things you have in common.

Do You Know Peppa Pig

9) This can drag on for what feels like ages.

Louis Theroux No Context

10) But soon enough you’ll start sharing your hopes and dreams.

I've Wondered If I Could Be A Rapper

11) Wild stories from your past.

How Did That Happen Crack

12) And some intimate secrets.

I Have A Big Collection Of Rubber And Fetish Stuff

13) Before you know it, things might be getting flirty.

You Like To Flirt Don't You

14) Compliments are exchanged.

You Look Like A Raven Haired Temptress

15) Hints dropped…

I'm 27 Years Old I'm Sexually Active

16) And propositions… proposed.

Well I Guess It Would Be Nice If I Could Touch Your Body

17) Listen, if it doesn’t click, it doesn’t click.

It Was CLose To Midnight And For Me Bedtime

18) Don’t take it personally!

Perhaps There Was Someone With Glasses Who Was Mean To Him Once

19) Meet rejection with good cheer and equanimity.

I'd Have Made Love To You

20) But if the feeling’s there, the feeling’s there.

Whether It Was Jesus Or The Good Vibes

21) And you and your new friend are on the same page.

You Got Fornication On The Brain

22) Time to find somewhere more private to hang out.

I Would Like To See Your Bedroom

23) First of all there’s that Uber journey home back to their place.

I'll Be Your Debbie Tonight

24) With the underlying subtext:

Next Time I See you

25) But at last, it’s time to get a little affectionate.

I Love Being Fussed Over It's My Favourite Thing

26) No harm in taking things slow.

That Was Almost A Kiss

27) It can be intimidating hooking up with someone new.

She Said There Was No Dick Too Big

28) But try not to dwell on it.

I Don't Mind If It's Big Or Not

29) You’ll probably just be fine.

It's Bigger Than I Was Expecting

30) OK, playa – it’s game time!

I've Taken My Clothes Off

31) Time to BRING THE MOVES.

Do Nothing Be A Sack Of Potatoes

32) Wait, not those moves!

Oh My God Is This Your First Time

33) Important to keep communicating.

Am I Pleasing You

34) Especially if things get a little… kinky.

What Counts As Kinky These Days

35) Whether you’re up for anything.

It's Like Wood Okay That Gets The Upper Butt

36) Or have things you’d prefer to avoid.

I Don't Really Want To Touch Your Bum That Much

37) Respect each other’s boundaries.

Just Don't Lay A Finger On My Rectum

38) And pay attention to the feedback you’re getting.

This Isn't As Much Fun Louis Theroux Headlock

39) Dirty talk is a bit of a gamble. Don’t be shy:



40) Go all in!

Wow There Were So Many Things That Were Offensive

41) Time for the big finale.

Take That One

42) When all is said and done…

It's Polite Not To Get The Mattress Wet

43) Maybe have a shower?

Gooey Louis

45) Hopefully, you did great!

I Was Very Wobbly Louis Theroux

46) Maybe you’re feeling good!

I Wasn't Sure What I'd Just Seen Louis Theourx

47) Maybe not.

I Wasn't Quite Sure What I'd Just Seen

48) But hopefully you can at least say…

I Consider Myself Fucked

49) And if you want to make a swift exit, there’s one move that will never let you down.

Louis Theroux cockroach

More love-life woes: 24 Harsh Truths About Dating In London

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