Buckingham Palace Is Hiring And It’s As Ridiculous As You’d Imagine

Lucy Bloxham • 13 July, 2016

Times are hard at the moment. And if you hadn’t noticed already, London is GODdam expensive. So we just thought we’d lend a helping hand and inform you all of a job that’s going…in erhm, Buckingham Palace. The role? The extremely common and highly sought after……Linen Keeper! *tumbleweed* Don’t know what one of them does? Pah. Amateurs, dahling. Over here at Secret London HQ we have loads of them…and they, erhm, keep after our linen. Yeh…Anyway, enough about us. A short description of what the role entails reads: “It’s ensuring the cloth matches the magnificence of the banqueting table.” Naturally. Well that rules out any dogs that were intending on applying. Harsh. Responsibilities include…the linen room: “Responsible for the Linen Room, you’ll supervise a small team to ensure all linen requirements are met to the highest standards every day.”

The closing date is July 17, so get applying and you could soon be moving into BP with Her Maj. Just on thing – there’s a salary adjustment for the live-in position, but on the up side you would get your meals provided. YUM. Sadly, for this position you do need some previous experience of supervising a linen room (literally, where the f*ck would you get that from? Does the one in your mam and dad’s house count? Even if it is more of a cupboard?) However, there’s another position going for a kitchen porter where no experience is necessary as “it’s who you are that we’re really interested in.” YAY! So if you’re passionate about pans, get applying now!

Featured Image Credit: DailyMail

Tags: buckingham palace, job