If you’re not already following these accounts on Twitter, get to it. They will (probably not) change your life.
1. Big Ben
BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG
— Big Ben (@big_ben_clock) January 9, 2017
BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG
— Big Ben (@big_ben_clock) January 9, 2017
BONG
— Big Ben (@big_ben_clock) January 9, 2017
It’s pointless, needless, but absolutely not a waste of time. (And we’re interested to see what will happen when Big Ben goes silent at some point this year…)
2. The Horniman Walrus
My life is a surreal one,
a regular phantasmagoria,
From being overstuffed
To visits from Queen Victoria#NationalPoetryDay— Horniman Walrus (@HornimanWalrus) October 6, 2016
I’ve been admired by royals,
The great & the good.
Come visit me in Forest Hill,
You know you really should. #NationalPoetryDay— Horniman Walrus (@HornimanWalrus) October 6, 2016
Dear #Dippy,
Hope you have fun on your holiday. Don’t forget to write.
Love, The Walrus. #dippyontour @NHM_London— Horniman Walrus (@HornimanWalrus) November 15, 2016
The Horniman Walrus is quite the poet, if you didn’t know it. As for his friend Dippy, you could follow him, but he’s not very funny. And also he’s leaving so he doesn’t count anymore.
3. Here’s a peek at our American guest who will be replacing Dippy this year…
I am as blue as I’ve ever been. I love you ALL!!!!
— NatHistoryWhale (@NatHistoryWhale) November 15, 2016
Hopefully us Brits will take over her account… and perhaps even give her a name.
4. The ever-brilliant, Dolphin Pub.
Kim Kardashian has a massive arse. It’s called Kanye.
— The Dolphin (@The_Dolphin_Pub) December 13, 2016
#RIP2016, you big fucking pie.
— The Dolphin (@The_Dolphin_Pub) January 1, 2017
I thought Ariana Grande was a font. #BRITs2016
— The Dolphin (@The_Dolphin_Pub) February 24, 2016
Expect lots of effing and blinding. And the odd political outburst.
5. The Trafalgar Tree
Me, Nelson, and the lions have our work #Christmas party tonight. Don’t worry, I’ve hired a stunt double to cover for me. ?
— The Trafalgar Tree (@TrafalgarsTree) December 16, 2016
A seasonal tweeter, so he’ll be out of business for a while. What’s better than the Trafalgar Tree himself, though, is the tweets about the Trafalgar Tree, written by people who were, erm, slightly disappointed with his appearance.
6. The Glass Jar of Moles at the Grant Museum of Zoology
Humans.When you’re angry, is you instant reaction actually a good solution to the problem?No! Do the research,understand the problem, solve.
— Glass Jar Of Moles (@GlassJarOfMoles) December 13, 2016
Because why shouldn’t they have their own Twitter account? They’re very wise.
7. The Southbank Centre’s Singing Lift
I AM IN FINE VOICE TODAY! BY WHICH I MEAN, I HAVE LITERALLY NEVER BEEN LOUDER! COME FOR A RIDE IN ME! BRING EARPLUGS!
— SouthbankSingingLift (@SingingLift) October 15, 2016
Again, why the hell not?
8. Greenwich Mean Time
It’s 8.16am. You look beautiful.
— Greenwich Mean Time (@GreenwichMean) April 1, 2016
It’s 11.18pm. What the fuck are you looking at, you fucking fucks? Go to bed, for fuck’s sake. If anyone needs their beauty sleep, it’s you.
— Greenwich Mean Time (@GreenwichMean) October 12, 2015
GMT is a bit bipolar, and can’t often make up his mind. But it can *sometimes* be uplifting.
9. Larry the Cat
PICTURE: A slimy bottom feeder.
Also pictured: A ray. pic.twitter.com/LH0979Iwqa— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) January 7, 2017
I told the boss I’d be late in because of the #TubeStrike – she pointed out I live here. Damn.
— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) January 9, 2017
Okay, so Larry is very animate… but we weren’t going to change the title of the post just for him. Larry lives at number 10 with Theresa, and you should follow him for regular Farage insults and jokes about Trump.
Feature Image: Flickr/ChrisA1995 and @big_ben_clock